Northland mum Anthea McIntyre has a special way of honouring her stillborn daughter Meika on her birthday each year. Photo / Jenny Ling
Northland mum Anthea McIntyre has a special way of honouring her stillborn daughter Meika on her birthday each year. Photo / Jenny Ling
Every year on November 10, Northland mum Anthea McIntyre marks the loss of her stillborn daughter Meika.
She and her family – her partner, two daughters and son – bake cakes, sing happy birthday, and write notes attached to helium balloons which they set free to the sky.
The Kerikeri woman, who owns Cafe at Redwoods on Springbank Rd, also donates half the profits of all coffee sold to a baby loss support group to keep the memory of Meika alive.
And in doing so, she inadvertently brings other grieving mums together to heal.
“I like to do something on Meika’s birthday; if she were here we would be doing something.
November 10 marked 12 years since McIntyre’s first daughter was “born sleeping”.
Searching for support, she connected with Rotorua mum Ashleigh Morris, who had lost her baby girl around the same time.
The pair became friends through social media group Sands New Zealand, a network of parent-run, non-profit groups supporting families who have experienced the death of a baby.
Morris went on to establish Pixie Dreams Casting, a voluntary service casting the hands and feet of babies that have passed away as keepsakes for their parents.
Morris said McIntyre’s annual donations are amazing.
“It keeps me afloat.
“Anthea is extremely generous.
“Her donations supply the casts for a whole year. They make a difference in so many people’s lives.”
McIntyre was 37 weeks pregnant when her baby Meika stopped kicking. She went to Whangārei Hospital for a scan and staff couldn’t find a heartbeat.
McIntyre, whose son was 12 when Meika was born, now has two daughters, aged 11 and 8.
McIntyre said though support for parents who have lost their babies has progressed, it was a “taboo subject” for a long time.
Apart from Sands New Zealand, Baby Loss Awareness Week is held each year from October 9 to 15 to help break the silence of infant loss in Aotearoa.
There is also the Butterfly Room, used by women who lose a baby and their families, which opened as part of Whangārei Hospital’s new maternity unit in 2016.
Talking about it also helps, she said.
“The hardest thing for [people] like us is that you feel not a lot of people want to hear about it.
“Because you haven’t got stories to share or memories to tell.
Jenny Ling is a senior journalist at the Northern Advocate. She has a special interest in covering human interest stories, along with roading, lifestyle, business, and animal welfare issues.
