There are a few questions I'd like to ask Mr Rudd that I know are unlikely to be asked by Aussie media.
One is: "Is your wife a lesbian?" The answer obviously has such far reaching consequences for the economy that it was ok to ask the then PM, Julia Gillard if her husband was gay.
Such fun! I could ask him about policy but then that would radically change the nature of the last two years of vitriol and drivel that has substituted genuine public political discourse in Australian media.
The sexist assumption that raw courage and a ballsy insistence on shaking up the status quo - were not womanly characteristics is laughable. Even here in local politics - women who reach positions of power often end up playing geisha to powerful men.
Julia's refusal to do this has cost her dearly. A ring around of friends in Australia found their families were better off after the carbon tax, the education and health sectors were better and they were genuinely happy with the job she's done.
But this was never about the policy. Rudd's gutless undermining of government was forgotten as he simpered that he was simply answering the call of the wily and desperate and had come to - tahdah - save the party from oblivion in the next election. I guess he's forgotten that he couldn't do that last time round.
I hope Tony Abbot - PM in waiting and serial offender against public decency - kicks off his "Flick the Dick" campaign. What fun! Or at least it was when he was organising placards with Bad Jelly flying through the skies that read "Ditch the Witch" aimed at Julia.
Similarly, Rudd would be amused if Abbot was seen on state television next to a sign that read: "Kev, Some Poor Woman's Bastard." After all it was hilarious when he stood beside one reading "Julia, Some Man's Bitch."
Media coverage of Tony Abbot has been kind although he sounds increasingly like the mining industry's bum boy each day - but then a mining magnate like Gina Reinhart would buy a media empire because she cares deeply about free and independent press. I know she didn't do it for the cash flow. The Aussie media have allowed conversations over hair, backsides and clothing to overshadow any real discussion on policy or allow Ms Gillard to shine in the areas she excelled: competent leadership, clever oratory and visionary policy.
The level of misogyny she endured in her term as PM was, frankly, juvenile and repulsive. They've exchanged a feisty red head for a dickhead and seem comfortable with that because at least he's a bloke. And then there's Abbot's answer, when he was minister, to a woman who said "I just want my daughter to have the same opportunities as my son."
"(Yes but ... ) ... what if men are by physiology and temperament more adapted to exercise authority or to issue command?" The sentiments of a Taleban fundamentalist could hardly be described more succinctly.