Nickie Muir: Bye what's his name

If you don't know who Aaron Gilmore is - don't worry - it no longer matters. During the heavy breathing media mush pit that surrounded Mr Gilmore last week it was almost easy to forget that he wasn't the victim. Obviously Aaron has never done any hard hours in a kitchen because, if he had done so, he would know obnoxious patrons eventually get paid out as soon as the owners of the establishment aren't looking.

I am always meticulously polite to waiters and chefs, not only because I've been on the receiving end of bad behaviour but most especially because I want to ensure my meal won't contravene any health and safety standards.

I once walked in on an act of hospitality revenge in a big hotel in Wellington where a chef and a waiter were making a salad they felt was suitable for the pretentious tosser that had been abusing them for the previous hour. Trust me. Until the day I die I will not eat another tossed salad I haven't made myself. I refused to take it out.

The girl who'd been copping the sexist idiocy at the table all evening had no such reservations.

Aaron's dismount from his high horse was interesting in that at no time during his fall did he ever seem to get it.

People don't do things in such a high-handed blase way - so convinced of their privilege and of their right to rule - unless they've done it before and gotten away with it.

The initial reaction from John Key was: "Aaron had a bad day and lost the plot - hey it happens to us all. It was a one-off." This is the most common official approach to intimidation - and in fact what often happens is that the perpetrator will turn on the person who has questioned their behaviour and accuse them of bullying.

In Aaron's previous job, he accused a colleague of "white anting" him when questioned on performance. If Andrew Riches (the lawyer he was drinking with) had been the kind of man who was more interested in keeping in with the in-crowd and obvious source of income, and not a decent bloke who doesn't like to see a waiter lose his job unfairly, this story would've had a different ending.

The texts that were the MP's undoing would never have come to light and the bully would have been confirmed in his position and strengthened for the next round. John Key's initial insistence on waiting for a formal complaint to be laid by the owners of a business that - since the earthquakes, must be thankful for the odd National Party long lunch - was as transparent as a budget tissue and just as easily sneezed through.

What failed to register was that frightening someone by threatening their livelihood is illegal. All intimidation - whether a direct threat to a job or business, as in this case, or some of the common versions thereof: "I run this town", "I'm making this personal", "You won't work in this town again," "You won't be able to ... if you don't" especially where those who are making the statements are in a position to follow through on them, are illegal under the Summary Offences Act - section 21.

There are many reasons why a waiter wouldn't want to go down that path, like: Being afraid of not making the rent while he did his civic duty to stop a nobody being a prat. Which just makes the fact that those who were in a position to do so, namely, Andrew Riches, stood up and said something, all the more commendable. I'll remember the name of the man who did the right thing, long after I've forgotten ... who was that guy again?

nickie.muir@scrubbuzz.com.