Nickie Muir: Bring anarchy to the bach

Nickie Muir

I am a grumpy old woman. I know this because I'm in a bach in a beautiful part of the country and someone has left an inane mission statement painted on fake driftwood.

And it is annoying me. It is annoying because I should be so above being annoyed by something so lame due to my advanced maturity and deep wisdom. And yet it annoys me still. It reads: "Dream more. Complain less. Listen more. Talk less. Love more. Argue less. Hope more. Fear less. Relax more. Worry less. Believe more. Doubt less."

I am now hell bent - in my holiday break - making the "Anarchist's Code of Conduct" and finding old tins of pastel paint and bits of driftwood I can match the original offending article with. I will leave it as an anarchist Chrissy card on the bach wall.

Dream less. The world needs fewer hippies. Work harder. Especially at not being evil. Complain loudly and as often as possible. Complain at the erosion of democracy, at all TV investigative journalism dying a short and painful death this year or about becoming a police state now that it's okay to roll journalists' houses even if their work is in the public interest. Listen more. Except to creationists - they're obviously idiots. Shut up less. Stop shutting up every time we swerve as a nation closer to being some random banana republic floating in the Pacific. Shut up less over polluted waterways and random acts of social injustice.

Shut up less about exorbitant rents or not being able to feed your kids by working just one job. Love more. No complaints there - except loving money as an end in itself and world domination for the sake of it. Love more - especially the agape kind.

Argue more. Especially with creationists. They need to be saved - mostly from themselves. Arguing proves your critical brain is still conscious despite reality TV trying to kill it. Argue politics and religion. Argue loudly and over dinner. Don't back down or say sorry. John Wayne never did. Hope less and accept there are no silver bullets or magic pixie dust. Work hard towards the delusionally ideal and accept you might not live to reap the harvest. Love enough to make that not matter. Fear more. Especially the creationists - they will wage their jihad if you give them half a chance. Everybody just needs to calm down on pretty much everything. Especially gun lobbyists. Relax. When you're dead. Worry less. Yeah! Especially about income tax, interest rates and Judith Collins. No wait. Definitely worry about Judith. Believe less - especially PR people and creationists. Seriously - what was God up to planting all those changing fossils over the place? Messing with your collective mind? Do we really want to believe in a god who would prank us? Doubt. Everyone. Mainstream media especially if they rely on advertising contracts or come in any package that looks like Mike Hosking.

Play more. Yup! Play up. Play the fool. Play the game. No! Wait! Do everything but play the game.