You know the sort of thing I mean. Unsolicited emails telling us we've won stuff, special discount flyers in the mail, someone who went to a clairvoyant who is convinced we are to be the big winners predicted during her $100 appointment etc etc.
So with this general air of confidence wafting around our humble abode it came as no surprise when Mrs P arrived home with a brightly coloured scratch card and a grin.
"I'm a winner," she said excitedly, waving the card in my direction.
This was indeed exciting news. Particularly as I know it's possible. Two friends have won $10,000 each on the scratchies.
One had been taking his mother-in-law home and stopped off to buy something (ear plugs maybe?) and, on a whim, picked up two scratchies. He returned to his car with two tickets and gave his nemesis one.
Obviously it was the wrong colour and she demanded the one he had. Groaning inwardly he handed it over then promptly discovered the card he was now holding was the big winner!
But I digress.
Upon double checking Mrs P's scratchie I discovered she was, in fact, a winner.
But the exact amount was not revealed. We would have to go to the outlet from where the card was purchased before we could fill a briefcase with the cash.
It would be fair to say we endured a restless evening as we discussed the possibilities.
New car, holiday, new golf clubs, spend it all at Briscoes (guess who's idea that was? Sigh. Don't get me started on Briscoes).
Eventually we managed to get some sleep. I dreamt about the last time I won something.
Two dozen oysters at a pool tournament in a pub on the West Coast.
As a kid from the UK starting my drinking career, I was easy fodder for the old hands who assured me the best way to eat the oysters was from a bar jug with a dash of vinegar and salt and pepper. The nice barman would sort it for me, they said.
When the oysters returned the proposed condiments had been added ... along with the barman's false eye for good measure!
I've not eaten an oyster since.
But it was a good times memory to assist my slumber and the thought of an eye staring out at me from a jugful of oysters was banished by morning as we drove into town.
Mrs P couldn't wait for me to find a park and basically dived out of the car like a stuntwoman, did a forward roll though the open door of the shop and landed on her feet in front of the counter.
I might be exaggerating that a bit but I'm sure you know what I mean.
Luckily I found a park not too far away and sprinted back to the shop just as the cash was being counted and our dreams of financial improvement were being made a reality.
Well, sort of.
"Congratulations," said the lady behind the counter.
"You've won $3."
