Kevin Page: Uncovering secrets of supermodel underwear a hit for all generations

Women and underwear shopping are a mystery

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Last week my daughter, the Boomerang Child, found herself behind the counter of her little shop with a colleague while a customer, new to the town they all live in, was inquiring of the best places to buy this and that.
I'm sure you get the picture.
Into this everyday scene came two elderly women.

Naturally the Boomerang Child went to see if they needed help. Upon ascertaining the pair were "just looking" - which really must be the most oft used expression in any retail establishment - she returned to the front counter and the ongoing conversation.
It seems by this stage the chat had moved on from the "nice top" one of the girls was wearing and the pair were now deep in discussion about underwear.

Now, I'm a bloke. For me, and I'm sure thousands of my gender, underwear preference is not something we really talk about. Its simply a question of getting in quick wherever there's a three for one deal or the like.
As long as they are comfy and, er, keep everything in its place, we're happy.

Not so with the ladies.
It seems every supermodel has their own line and while some may be better than others it really was a matter of preference. And that was just what the work colleague was saying to Customer No.1 as the Boomerang Child returned.
". . . is best for Elle Macpherson," she said.

Now I should point out here that I am not an expert when it comes to women's underwear. My experience is limited to folding what looked to me like three bits of string when I last got the washing in off the line.

Mrs P and my two girls will correct me here if I'm wrong but I have a feeling it said "Macpherson" on the label. Quite honestly it could have said "McDonald's". I'm not sure. I just wanted to finish the job and get out of there. its not good for a bloke to be seen holding women's undies.

Anyway, hopefully you get the picture: I say "Elle Macpherson" but it could have been any one of the other supermodels flogging undies. Of which there are many.
So, to recap. The Boomerang Child rejoins the chat.
And then from across the store comes the voice of Elderly Lady No.1.
"I've got a pair of them."
Her friend is surprised and suggests the other has misheard.
"I have," says Elderly Lady No.1. "I'll show you". Whereupon she promptly lifts her skirt to display her undergarments.

Relaying the story to me that evening the Boomerang Child admits it was hard not to giggle. It got even harder when Elderly Lady No.2 decided to do the same thing and show what she was wearing.
By this stage the girls behind the counter, Customer No.1 and Elderly Ladies 1 and 2 were all in on the fun and giggling away as the show (and tell) continued.
And naturally, because life throws up such instances, into the middle of it at high speed comes the busy courier.

By all accounts he burst through the front door with his parcel, offered his usual "G'day" and promptly froze, open mouthed, at the sight before him. Had he really just seen that or was he imagining it?

For a second there was the most awkward of silences. Then he scarpered.
I would love to interview him to see what he thought was going on. Imagine the radio call back to base. Wonder if he is getting counselling for emotional distress?

Back at the shop, Boomerang Child says the five representatives of inter-generational humour absolutely cracked up as the door closed behind the stunned courier.
It was, she said, just the best day.
And it seems there is to be some regular commercial benefit too.
Customer No.1 was more than happy with the advice and her purchase and is promising to shop there every week.
Apparently she reckons the free floor show made it an absolute bargain.