Today's column is addressed to those popular oxymorons, our younger readers. Are you all sitting comfortably now? Good. Here we go. Children, don't be prophets.
Now, I realise you're no more likely to listen to a sexagenarian than I was at your age, but take it from me, kids, there's nothing in this prophecy business. Nothing except feeling unheard, unappreciated, unrewarded, un-everything. And it isn't going to change any time soon, which, as you smarter children will have noticed, is a prophecy of sorts. And when it comes true, which it will, when those of you who do become prophets see your prophecies come true and then discover that no one gives you the credit for them, then I won't get the credit either for having prophesied that it would be so. Which is my point. Prophecy's a mug's game. With two exceptions.
First exception: financial markets. By all means go in for financial markets prophecy. Prophesy crashes, downturns, corrections. Don't be precise about timing but do imply imminence. Every so often you'll be right. And when you are, flaunt it. Let people know. Boast like a Trump. People will forget the times you were wrong but notice the time you were right and for a while people will consult you in the hope of making money. You'll be no different from any other charlatan gypsy with a crystal ball and a line in mystic patter, but if your conscience can cope with that then go to it. Besides you'll be fleecing those who are both stupid and greedy and there's probably no crime in that.