Northern Advocate
  • Northern Advocate home
  • Latest news
  • Business
  • Opinion
  • Lifestyle
  • Sport
  • Property
  • Video
  • Death notices
  • Classifieds

Subscriptions

  • Herald Premium
  • Viva Premium
  • The Listener
  • BusinessDesk

Sections

  • Latest news
  • On The Up
  • Business
  • Opinion
  • Lifestyle
  • Rural
    • All Rural
    • Dairy farming
    • Sheep & beef farming
    • Horticulture
    • Animal health
    • Rural business
    • Rural life
    • Rural technology
  • Sport
  • Property
    • All Property
    • Residential property listings

Locations

  • Far North
  • Kaitaia
  • Kaikohe
  • Bay of Islands
  • Whangārei
  • Kaipara
  • Mangawhai
  • Dargaville

Media

  • Video
  • Photo galleries
  • Today's Paper - E-Editions
  • Photo sales
  • Classifieds

Weather

  • Kaitaia
  • Whangārei
  • Dargaville

NZME Network

  • Advertise with NZME
  • OneRoof
  • Driven Car Guide
  • BusinessDesk
  • Newstalk ZB
  • Sunlive
  • ZM
  • The Hits
  • Coast
  • Radio Hauraki
  • The Alternative Commentary Collective
  • Gold
  • Flava
  • iHeart Radio
  • Hokonui
  • Radio Wanaka
  • iHeartCountry New Zealand
  • Restaurant Hub
  • NZME Events

SubscribeSign In

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.
Home / Northern Advocate

Joanne McNeill: Year of monkey sure to bring cheek

Joanne McNeill
Northern Advocate·
11 Jan, 2016 03:55 PM3 mins to read

Subscribe to listen

Access to Herald Premium articles require a Premium subscription. Subscribe now to listen.
Already a subscriber?  

Listening to articles is free for open-access content—explore other articles or learn more about text-to-speech.
‌
Save
    Share this article
If we could foresee the future, would we really want to know?

If we could foresee the future, would we really want to know?

As 2016 sprints into infinity, precise enlightenment about what to expect is hard to find.

If we could foresee the future, would we really want to know? Although I suppose worrying what will happen could be more practical than worrying about what won't.

Astrologically, the planet Mercury (ruler of communications, travel and technology) is retrograde from January 5 until January 25, popularly playing havoc with messages, computers and vehicles. Apparently, stuff will go missing and airline schedules will shred in the fierce winds of circumstance; much like business as usual.

Conceivably though Mercury retro could have influenced the mysterious recent flat battery in the ute, the Dick Smith retail chain's receivership, Iran severing diplomatic relations with Saudi Arabia (incidentally shedding light on complex tribal and sectarian divisions within Islam), and global outrage over the latest alleged execution video from the creative film-making department of the Isis propaganda wing. Incidentally, this somehow manages to achieve the kind of maximum audience on a minimum budget the New Zealand Film Commission could only dream of. Although, the most recent example did showcase some unlikely work from the costume department, suggesting these might be the cleanest most colour co-ordinated terrorists on the planet.

The omens behind the collapse of China's stock market and currency, dairy prices dropping again and North Korea's alleged hydrogen bomb test remain obscure. But the good news is the Chinese Year of the Monkey arrives on February 8 and, since monkeys are cheeky, curious, fast-moving, smart, naughty, ingenious, vigilant, unscrupulous and conscience-free, full of bravado, bluff and creative risks, it's unlikely lumbering totalitarian power groups will gather much sway. Indeed, old orders may topple.

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.
Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

Astronomically, on May 9 Mercury transits the sun - visible from parts of Earth as a small black dot. I don't know the astrological implications - but, in the realm of dangerous fantasy, perhaps sudden light will bathe communications in such brilliant clarity that everyone will see through the dark arts of spin, propaganda, jargon, advertising and obfuscation?

January 6 was the biblical feast of epiphany, commemorating the arrival in Bethlehem of three wise men from the east following a star because a Zoroastrian prophecy foretold its appearance heralded the birth of a king. They delivered gifts - the first Christmas presents - and wisely went home another way, thereby avoiding having to report the birth to potentially murderous third parties.

Speculation remains as to what star it was - a comet, a supernova or a conjunction of Jupiter and Venus so close they looked like one grand new heavenly body are among the contenders.

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

January 6 was also the 12th day of Christmas when superstitious local heathens still believe bad luck will ensue if the decorations are not packed safely back in the box and all traces of tinsel and sand vacuumed from the carpet.

Accordingly, I did have a minor epiphany that the annual despatch of the Christmas tree into the woodshed probably signals an auspicious moment to start cutting down firewood (giving it plenty of time to dry before winter). I think I can fairly safely prophesy the Zen advice - before enlightenment chop wood, after enlightenment chop wood - will remain applicable in the foreseeable.

Discover more

Have your say: Keep MP quiet

22 Dec 05:00 AM

Nickie Muir: The joys of navigating climate change debate

29 Dec 04:00 PM

Andrew Bonallack: Breaking cycle of poverty

07 Jan 03:50 PM

Kiwi undervalued: Big Mac Index

13 Jan 02:30 AM
Save
    Share this article

Latest from Northern Advocate

Northern Advocate

'Really sweet': New partnership to grow berry production from minnow to major

22 Sep 12:00 AM
Northern Advocate

Northland sisters turn love of dahlias into award-winning business

21 Sep 11:00 PM
Northern Advocate

'Giant red flags': How a woman's promising job led to money laundering convictions

21 Sep 10:00 PM

Sponsored

Poor sight leaving kids vulnerable

22 Sep 01:23 AM
Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

Latest from Northern Advocate

'Really sweet': New partnership to grow berry production from minnow to major
Northern Advocate

'Really sweet': New partnership to grow berry production from minnow to major

Ngāpuhi and T&G Fresh have joined to grow strawberries and blueberries in the Far North.

22 Sep 12:00 AM
Northland sisters turn love of dahlias into award-winning business
Northern Advocate

Northland sisters turn love of dahlias into award-winning business

21 Sep 11:00 PM
'Giant red flags': How a woman's promising job led to money laundering convictions
Northern Advocate

'Giant red flags': How a woman's promising job led to money laundering convictions

21 Sep 10:00 PM


Poor sight leaving kids vulnerable
Sponsored

Poor sight leaving kids vulnerable

22 Sep 01:23 AM
NZ Herald
  • About NZ Herald
  • Meet the journalists
  • Newsletters
  • Classifieds
  • Help & support
  • Contact us
  • House rules
  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms of use
  • Competition terms & conditions
  • Our use of AI
Subscriber Services
  • The Northern Advocate e-edition
  • Manage your print subscription
  • Manage your digital subscription
  • Subscribe to Herald Premium
  • Subscribe to the Northern Advocate
  • Gift a subscription
  • Subscriber FAQs
  • Subscription terms & conditions
  • Promotions and subscriber benefits
NZME Network
  • The Northern Advocate
  • The New Zealand Herald
  • The Northland Age
  • Waikato Herald
  • Bay of Plenty Times
  • Rotorua Daily Post
  • Hawke's Bay Today
  • Whanganui Chronicle
  • Viva
  • NZ Listener
  • Newstalk ZB
  • BusinessDesk
  • OneRoof
  • Driven Car Guide
  • iHeart Radio
  • Restaurant Hub
NZME
  • About NZME
  • NZME careers
  • Advertise with NZME
  • Digital self-service advertising
  • Book your classified ad
  • Photo sales
  • © Copyright 2025 NZME Publishing Limited
TOP