Northern Advocate
  • Northern Advocate home
  • Latest news
  • Business
  • Opinion
  • Lifestyle
  • Sport
  • Property
  • Video
  • Death notices
  • Classifieds

Subscriptions

  • Herald Premium
  • Viva Premium
  • The Listener
  • BusinessDesk

Sections

  • Latest news
  • On The Up
  • Business
  • Opinion
  • Lifestyle
  • Rural
    • All Rural
    • Dairy farming
    • Sheep & beef farming
    • Horticulture
    • Animal health
    • Rural business
    • Rural life
    • Rural technology
  • Sport
  • Property
    • All Property
    • Residential property listings

Locations

  • Far North
  • Kaitaia
  • Kaikohe
  • Bay of Islands
  • Whangārei
  • Kaipara
  • Mangawhai
  • Dargaville

Media

  • Video
  • Photo galleries
  • Today's Paper - E-Editions
  • Photo sales
  • Classifieds

Weather

  • Kaitaia
  • Whangārei
  • Dargaville

NZME Network

  • Advertise with NZME
  • OneRoof
  • Driven Car Guide
  • BusinessDesk
  • Newstalk ZB
  • Sunlive
  • ZM
  • The Hits
  • Coast
  • Radio Hauraki
  • The Alternative Commentary Collective
  • Gold
  • Flava
  • iHeart Radio
  • Hokonui
  • Radio Wanaka
  • iHeartCountry New Zealand
  • Restaurant Hub
  • NZME Events

SubscribeSign In
Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.
Home / Northern Advocate

Joanne McNeill: Celebrate Christmas Magic

By Joanne McNeill
Northern Advocate·
8 Dec, 2015 03:00 AM3 mins to read

Subscribe to listen

Access to Herald Premium articles require a Premium subscription. Subscribe now to listen.
Already a subscriber?  Sign in here

Listening to articles is free for open-access content—explore other articles or learn more about text-to-speech.
‌
Save

    Share this article

Christmas is on the horizon

Christmas is on the horizon

Slipping into the costume of memory, sixtyish Christmases past start with new dresses mother made, white sprigged with blue violets, and dolls like hard plastic Mary who fell out of bed, broke her head and was forever scarred with orange plasticine.

The first bicycle, little and blue with a basket, Father Christmas left (wrapped in brown paper) amazingly indoors. Miraculously he must have delivered bikes to every child on the Central Fire Station too because that morning the big yard whirled and whooped with kids learning to ride..

There were train sets with tiny tunnels and villages; churches lush with incantations, big hats and incense; oranges, chocolates and the ritual Christmas morning trip in the chief's car ('49 Ford single spinner with siren) with dad and my bro, around outlying stations for obligatory festive drinks at each, while Mum flapped the pinny over a hot oven at home and yelled blue murder when we rolled in late and merry as lords.

The best china came out, there were lucky threepences in the pudding and afterwards, while Mum and the tipsy pretend-aunts lay down exhausted for naps in their petticoats, unusually the fathers did the dishes while we kids swam.

Distant nanas with spidery handwriting sent exotic lollies and cigars were compulsory, although admittedly the Father Christmas of the time was partly the Clement C Moore version from The Night Before Christmas - "The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth, And the smoke, it encircled his head like a wreath" - and partly the spirit of AA Milne's King John's Christmas - "King John was not a good man" - who brought him a big red India-rubber ball anyway.

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.
Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

Next we were the mums and dads, up nights for weeks making secret presents, starting a decorations collection still brought out each year full of forgotten shiny treasures, ceremonially hunting feral trees from local roadsides, bravely putting on the pinny to bake tarts and glaze ham, and starting excellent new traditions such as champagne with strawberries for breakfast and, in new favourite Christmas haunts with friends, pipis steamed open over hot corrugated iron, long Boxing Day swims behind dinghies full of kids, dads and food to island picnics, or lying in warm shallows at dusk listening to music played around a bonfire on the beach.

Once, after everyone grew up, died or was busy elsewhere, I spent a Christmas with no family of my own present. The people who took me in were lovely but I still cried buckets.

Now there's another generation to hang up stockings and leave carrots for reindeer.

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

I may be a cynical curmudgeonly old sceptic in all matters of science, religion, white-man's medicine and politics but I'm a firm believer in Father Christmas.

If memory is costume, Christmas is a gala performance, so three cheers for production crews in whanau everywhere busily juggling impossible lists on shoestrings and a shrinking deadline in the stinking heat to keep lighting up the magic.

Discover more

Joanne McNeill: Our flag does need changing

24 Nov 03:00 AM

Joanne McNeill: Getting war down to a fine art

01 Dec 03:00 AM
Lifestyle

Girl gifts '100 bags of hope' for Christmas

08 Dec 11:29 PM

Actor juggles army and stage

09 Dec 11:30 PM
Save

    Share this article

Latest from Northern Advocate

Northern Advocate

Kaipara mayoral hopefuls on rates, museums and what they would do differently

14 Jul 12:00 AM
Northern Advocate

Kaitāia Airport's $5.4m upgrade progresses with regular iwi meetings

14 Jul 12:00 AM
Premium
Northern Advocate

'Ambulance at the bottom': Retailers criticise new shoplifting penalties

13 Jul 05:00 PM

From early mornings to easy living

sponsored
Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

Latest from Northern Advocate

 Kaipara mayoral hopefuls on rates, museums and what they would do differently

Kaipara mayoral hopefuls on rates, museums and what they would do differently

14 Jul 12:00 AM

Kaipara's rates hike is 8.3%, with a targeted rate of $14 per property for three museums.

Kaitāia Airport's $5.4m upgrade progresses with regular iwi meetings

Kaitāia Airport's $5.4m upgrade progresses with regular iwi meetings

14 Jul 12:00 AM
Premium
'Ambulance at the bottom': Retailers criticise new shoplifting penalties

'Ambulance at the bottom': Retailers criticise new shoplifting penalties

13 Jul 05:00 PM
Man jailed after forcing children to witness horrific animal cruelty

Man jailed after forcing children to witness horrific animal cruelty

13 Jul 08:00 AM
Solar bat monitors uncover secrets of Auckland’s night sky
sponsored

Solar bat monitors uncover secrets of Auckland’s night sky

NZ Herald
  • About NZ Herald
  • Meet the journalists
  • Newsletters
  • Classifieds
  • Help & support
  • Contact us
  • House rules
  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms of use
  • Competition terms & conditions
  • Our use of AI
Subscriber Services
  • The Northern Advocate e-edition
  • Manage your print subscription
  • Manage your digital subscription
  • Subscribe to Herald Premium
  • Subscribe to the Northern Advocate
  • Gift a subscription
  • Subscriber FAQs
  • Subscription terms & conditions
  • Promotions and subscriber benefits
NZME Network
  • The Northern Advocate
  • The New Zealand Herald
  • The Northland Age
  • Waikato Herald
  • Bay of Plenty Times
  • Rotorua Daily Post
  • Hawke's Bay Today
  • Whanganui Chronicle
  • Viva
  • NZ Listener
  • Newstalk ZB
  • BusinessDesk
  • OneRoof
  • Driven Car Guide
  • iHeart Radio
  • Restaurant Hub
NZME
  • About NZME
  • NZME careers
  • Advertise with NZME
  • Digital self-service advertising
  • Book your classified ad
  • Photo sales
  • © Copyright 2025 NZME Publishing Limited
TOP