How to cope with Christmas stress: Whangārei expert shares strategies

Signs of stress include depleted energy levels, aches and pains, headaches, difficulty concentrating and making decisions, and feeling overwhelmed. Photo / 123rf

With Christmas just around the corner, Jenny Ling talks to a Northland health and wellbeing expert to find out how to reduce stress this festive season.

Feeling pressured to get everything done before Christmas, financial pressures, dealing with shopping queues and crowds, cramming in catch-ups with friends and families, preparing family feasts, end-of-year work functions, and Secret Santa.

It’s no wonder dealing with stress at this time of year is a top trending topic for many Northlanders.

Residents have been frantically googling tips on how to stay sane in the lead-up to the festive season.

The Northern Advocate talked to a Whangārei health and wellbeing coach to find out how to navigate, what is for many of us, a challenging time of year.

How to tell when you’re stressed

Whangārei health and wellbeing coach Sarah Trass says the body gives you various clues that you may be under stress.

These include depleted energy levels, aches and pains, headaches, difficulty concentrating and making decisions, and feeling overwhelmed.

The key is to tune into your body, she says.

“Your body is always speaking to you.

“Little things like you’re getting irritable, is your wick a bit shorter, are you feeling tired or having energy slumps, are you finding you’re getting overstimulated, that the noise is getting too much.

“That’s your body letting you know you’re reaching the end of your tether.

“It’s honouring that and being able to pick up on those cues.”

Trass says taking time out to rest, get more sleep, or simply getting out of the office and going for a walk around the block can do wonders.

“If you’re being social, have some time by yourself, if you’re working on timelines and have a lot going on, have some mental rest.

“If your body is sore, maybe you need a physical rest.

“It’s the old saying – your body is always speaking to you, but it screams at you when you’re not listening.”

Manage expectations

Trass says there is a general mentality that people have to get everything finished – and perfectly – in time for Christmas.

“They get caught up with trying to wrap up everything before Christmas and end up adding more to the to-do list which adds unnecessary pressure and stress.”

Be focused and clear on what needs to be done, and what can wait till the new year, she says.

“You think things are urgent, but if you step back most things can wait.

“Talk to your boss and colleagues about realistic expectations.

“It’s meant to be the end of the year when you bring things to a close.”

Trass says people should get comfortable with the word “no” and remind themselves it’s okay to practise saying it.

Especially when it comes to catching up with friends, family and workmates before Christmas, when everyone wants to meet for a coffee or drink, she says.

Sarah Trass says not everything has to be done before Christmas. Many things can wait until the new year.

“When it rains it pours around Christmas.

“All of a sudden there are all these invites to pre-Christmas parties and everyone wants to catch up for a coffee.

“It’s okay to say no to some of those.”

Trass suggests wheedling out some of the excess invites by tuning into your body and your overall capacity.

“Ask yourself, ‘where am I at and what am I needing’?

“Which of those invitations and events align with that?”

Switch off

Turning your phone off or leaving it in another room is a great way to mentally unwind, she said.

“Anyone over the holiday period can benefit from unplugging.

“If it’s doable for you in your life, the greatest thing you can do for the nervous system and your health and mind is to give yourself a break from all that input all the time.

“Your phone is constantly bombarding you.

“You’re looking at it from the time you wake up to the time you go to bed.”

Research has shown pausing screen-related activities at least an hour before bedtime gives your brain a chance to wind down and signal to your body that it’s time to sleep.

“There’s unlimited data on our phones, but our minds and bodies aren’t cut out to take in that much,” Trass says.

“Even scanning something on Facebook that’s upsetting or overstimulating affects the nervous system.

“Find periods of time when you turn your phone off, like around the dinner table and at certain times of the day.”

Trass had an enforced digital detox a few years ago when the kayak she and her phone were in capsized in the Whanganui River.

Christmas doesn’t have to be stressful if you set realistic expectations. Photo / Michael Cunningham

She didn’t have a phone for three weeks because she thought her phone, which was in a protective bag with her other belongings, could be salvaged, and she didn’t want to buy a new one.

“It’s amazing how present I was. It took a bit of time to get used to it, it was kind of like a phantom limb.

“But I’d watch a beautiful sunset instead of taking a photo of it.

“I enjoyed not feeling that pressure and obligation to always be checking things.”

Maintain healthy habits

Trass recommends keeping up with whatever healthy habits and practices you’ve been cultivating throughout the year.

Gym workouts, yoga classes and good eating habits can drop off when you’re in a different environment, she says, particularly near Christmas.

But you don’t have to chuck out those good habits – just think outside the box and incorporate them in a different way.

“You can still do the things that bring you joy.

“Have a little think about how they’d work when you’re in a different environment.

“If you have been going to the gym or pilates and all of a sudden you’re with your family camping ... think what other things can I do?

“Go for a walk or swim, or organise a fun boot camp.

“Or if you’re been practising meditation and you’re now spending two weeks with families and kids, think how else could that look?”

Family dynamics

Trass has some tips for people who tend to “slip into old roles” when they’re with family.

Family dynamics can be unhealthy when family members treat each other in harmful or destructive ways.

Trass recommends taking a moment before you get together with loved ones and “get clear on what the role is you want to play”.

“What needs to be put in place to support you?

“What boundaries do you need to put in place and what do they look like?

“If you notice yourself getting frustrated, it could be you’re shifting into a role that is outdated or that you don’t want to play anymore.”

She suggests taking time out and giving yourself space when things get tetchy.

“Do things you enjoy, to remind you of who you are.”

Other top tips

• Plan ahead and use a list.
• Buy wisely and get items in sales throughout the year.
• Plan a budget and stick to it.
• Don’t overschedule appointments.
• Shop during quieter times and preferably without children.
• Consider a simple version of Christmas lunch.

Jenny Ling is a senior journalist at the Northern Advocate. She has a special interest in covering human interest stories, along with roading, lifestyle, business and animal welfare issues.