God bless our lovely little nation. What an absolute pleasure it is to live in a country where one of the big stories of the day is a prisoner complaining about his tucker.
Last weekend Callum Mahupuku did it rough. The 20-year-old alleged crim breached his bail and wound up behind bars, whereupon he ate and drank perhaps not quite like a Kiwi might expect to, but better than millions of law-abiding citizens in less privileged nations.
Then, just like one might expect of a Kiwi of his generation, he complained about it. And to prove that it isn't only the young that have lost perspective ... so did his mum. Their collective outrage at the failure of the police to roll out the red carpet along with a three-course-meal after a flagrant breach of the law encapsulates everything that is wrong with the world today.
While our ancestors enjoyed the Age of Enlightenment, we are all suffering through the Age of Entitlement. The expectation that everything will be put on a plate for us (with the exception of cold noodles) has created a breed of greedy, lazy and uncool people. Our grandparents held their heads high with stories of walking five miles to school in the pouring rain with bare feet and no coat. These days the only place you'd wind up at after that sort of journey is foster care.
Making the most of what you've got has become hardship, and doing without all together is seen as unparalleled suffering. If a glass is chipped it is replaced by a whole set of new ones and clothes that in our parents' generation were worn till they wore out are now disposed of after a season.
The thing about minimalism is that it really makes you appreciate the good life when it does occasionally come your way.
How good would the Big Breakfast taste after a weekend of noodles and Milo? It's almost enough, surely, to break bail over.
In the modern world where we want for nothing, I can imagine people paying big bucks for the sort of experience Callum Mahupuku got dished up for free, with a side of unseasoned noodles.
How has humanity fallen so far from the tree that someone would even consider laying a formal complaint to senior police who are not resourced enough to combat genuine pain and suffering in our community let alone the balanced dietary needs of someone who should know better?
There is a truth first hit upon by Socrates long before we all learned to put our hands out and expect them to be lined with gold: "He who is not contented with what he has, would not be contented with what he would like to have."
New Zealand may not always be the land of milk and honey it once was, but when you do something wrong and you still get a mug of Milo for your troubles ... is it really so bad?