Er, not that kind of civic hub

A Honda Civic wheel-bearing hub. Photo / Supplied

A Far North man is applauding plans to spend $11 million building a giant "Honda Civic wheel-bearing hub" in the centre of Kaikohe.

While council submissions don't usually make entertaining reading, the efforts of a certain Peter Spants are a notable exception.

In a detailed submission to the Far North District Council's 2018-28 Long-Term Plan, Spants claimed — with tongue firmly in cheek — he was unsure what the council meant when it proposed building a civic hub in Kaikohe.

When he searched ''civic hub'' on the internet, the most common result was a wheel-bearing hub for a Honda Civic.

''Is FNDC planning to build a really big one of these for $11m? That would be really good and I support this as an initiative to reinvigorate Kaikohe,'' Spants wrote.

''Kaikohe could become the Honda Civic Hub of the North. Awesome initiative FNDC! I mean, for a minute there — before I consulted the internet — I thought FNDC was planning to spend $11m on new offices and a community centre for no reason. That would be a really weird way to spend $11m.''

The project to revitalise the Mid North town has been branded ''Renaissance Kaikohe''.

This also met with Spants' approval, who said the Giant Honda Civic Hub had much in common with a 300-year-long cultural movement laying the foundations for many of society's political, social and scientific achievements.

He said the concept of naming towns after historical eras should be extended to the rest of the Far North, for example Medieval Mangonui, Ancient Ahipara, Modern Moerewa, Pre-historic Paihia, and the End of All Time and Heat Death of the Universe Kerikeri.

Attempts to track down Spants have so far proved unsuccessful. There is no Peter Spants in the Northland electoral roll nor are there any Spants listed in the White Pages.

A council spokesman said Spants was allocated a speaking slot in the long-term plan hearings.

''Unfortunately, and to general disappointment, Mr Spants did not show,'' he said.

Spants also submitted on road dust, the Twin Coast Cycle Trail, and Mayor John Carter's moustache.