Editorial: Jackpot just a jack up

It's a dangling carrot few of us can resist following.

It lures us despite its slim odds, encourages us to kiss goodbye to our hard-earned money even though we know we might be better off applying a naked flame to a banknote.

Yet we continue for, if we don't, we might miss out.

But I'd like to tell you about a lottery that is not the one most of us buy on a Saturday.

It's one that is offered both online and in the post by a certain readily available publication. It has been luring someone known to me for a couple of years now.

It has been relentless in its quest to hold on to this lottery "customer".

Its creator keeps sending letters like this: "It's official, the $500,000 Grand Prize and Super Bonus has yet to be awarded and I'm pleased to confirm that you, [insert name of person being lured] have been allocated six prize draw entry numbers - these numbers can confirm your status as a potential winner."

Confirmation is always required to keep your chances "alive" and this can be posted back to the source or entered online.

This ensures that within a week you will receive another promising missive along the lines of this one I have just made up: "You are now one of only 500 people in the entire nation who have doggedly kept returning these missives every week so you are getting closer and closer to a big prize. Do not give up hope. You are very close to a big one ... blah..blah ... blah."

You are guaranteed to receive these until your final hour whereupon your children will inherit the right. But none of you will ever win anything.

Please allow me to do some rough calculations here:

Weekly cost of postage - $2500

Weekly cost of stationery - $1500. Gold relief embossing on envelopes - $3500. Weekly cost of clerical staff - $5700. Grand total cost of continuing to lure customers with very little benefit to self - $13,200.

Yes, of course the figures are made up but I have added them up correctly and I feel they must be pretty accurate.

They certainly beg some questions. Do these people never tire of this game?

Please excuse this interruption - offer coming through.

"Dear Sir. Because you are clearly trying to mock us with your figures, may I perhaps change your mind for you. You are ALMOST THERE, ALMOST A BIG WINNER. Because you have been selected as a priority correspondent, you are one of only 200 people in the entire nation who will be advanced to the next stage in our giant prize draw. Because we have contacted you by email we were not able to impress you with a gold embossed envelope but if you care to forward your postal details we will ... blah ... blah ... blah."

Ha ha. Think they can draw me in, do they? I'm made of stronger stuff than that. Ooh, that was quick. Here's something else coming through.

"Dear Sir. Even if you manage to resist the gold embossed envelope you will not escape for, even now, I have promoted you on our priority list and you are now one of only two people left in the entire country who are eligible to win. Resistance is futile. Yours ..."

I've simply had enough of this. I'll simply ignore them. I won't confirm.

"Dear Sir. So you think you can escape us by not confirming. You can't because you are now one of only 0.325 priority customers for whom the confirmation requirements have been waived ..."

I'm sure you can see by now why I prefer a good, straightforward chook raffle any day.