The behavioural changes that are evident across society are highlighted within the employment relationship. For example, supermarket workers having to don body cameras for safety is a notion that would have been unthinkable a few years ago. Throughout workplace relationships there are clear indications of how the stress associated with these combined adverse events manifest.
Isolation caused by lockdowns and the trend for remote working may have contributed to this change in the way we interact within the employment relationship.
We are seeing a tendency toward negative emotions like anxiety, vulnerability, sadness, and irritability, and some people who may have previously been able to supress their neuroses are now involuntarily creating stressful situations for themselves by getting into conflict with other people or by avoiding situations that they find threatening.
One of the tactics we have employed in our workplace to offset these stress-induced personality changes is to try and increase personal kindness levels – to help out where and however possible.
At the risk of sounding like a certain former prime minister, a desire to be kind is a great way to restore the balance in terms of our workplace behaviours.
Studies show that, like rudeness, kindness is contagious and people who witness kindness are three times more likely to pay it forward and show kindness to someone else.
A commitment to being kind in the workplace can bring many important benefits.
Receiving a compliment, words of recognition, and praise can help individuals feel more fulfilled, boost their self-esteem, improve their self-evaluations, and trigger positive emotions.
However, many of these kindness interactions are involuntary or serendipitous and so the opportunities for them to occur when isolated (during lockdown or while working remotely), are less frequent. Hearing a colleague say, “thank you so much” or a manager highlighting the “great job” you did after a presentation are employment highlights but in the absence of water cooler interactions, casual lunches, and coffee breaks, there is not the same ability to interact and compliment one another.
The positive downstream consequences of proper and meaningful praise are well-proven. Praise aligns with our naturally positive view of ourselves, confirms our self-worth and encourages continued praise-worthy behaviour.
However, to be effective, praise needs to be timely and relevant. For example, an employer wanting to acknowledge great work by putting on a staff morning tea should do it at a time that is proximate to the exemplary behaviour.
It’s also important to reinforce the behaviour by telling staff what the morning tea is in recognition of (insert details of good behaviour here). Research shows that being kind brings a sense of meaning because it involves investing in something bigger than ourselves.
It shapes both how others perceive us which in turn improves our reputation and how we view ourselves. Being kind is like a self-fulfilling prophecy as it makes us believe that we have what it takes to be a good person. In the remote workplace where cultivating moments of gratitude is harder, developing self-belief and reputational enhancement is particularly important because it translates into long-term job satisfaction.
When it comes to kindness the saying that it is better to give than to receive is also true. Some reports identify that giving compliments can make us even happier than receiving them. In the workplace, this can take the form of starting a meeting by asking participants to provide a compliment about something they liked or respected about one of the other meeting participants.
It is artificial to suggest that being a manager or employer is all about giving compliments to staff but the saying that you ‘catch more with honey than salt’ is true in the employment space. In addition, being open and transparent about what you consider to be good or great behaviour makes the occasions when you have to offer corrective advice to an employee much more authentic and meaningful.
No one advocates for a return to teddy bears in the window but developing a kinder workplace is for the betterment of all of us and will help us collectively recapture some of those lost personality traits that underpin the Kiwi way.
David Grindle is the director in charge of the employment law team at WRMK Lawyers. He has practised in this area of the law for 17 years
