Carolyn Hansen: Be your own best friend

The perfect way for us to begin each day empowered is to speak powerful, loving affirmations to ourselves, such as "I am empowered to change my world". Photo / 123rf

Life is a seesaw of adventure. Sometimes experiences lift us mentally, while at other times we feel overwhelmed, weak, and out of control. These "weak" feelings/moments exist because we have given our power away, or at least some of it. Not surprising, considering the multitude of demands placed on our time. These are the reasons it is more important than ever that we remember to honour and keep ourselves and our needs at the top of our "pedestal of important people" list.

This internal focus and attention putting us first, is not a selfish act. It is called self-love. Self-love is the only attitude that offers complete unconditional acceptance of who and what we are, even our so-called shortcomings. Without them, how would we define our strengths?

Self-love is empowering, warm, nurturing and filled with compassion, the same compassion we generously shower on others. It is the only path to lasting peace and happiness. Not the temporary kind that tickles our physical senses for a spell then leaves us wanting more. Permanent happiness springs internally. It is not subject to external conditions for approval, expression, or enjoyment.

Self-love is powerful because it is the only love that can be multiplied and shared. Once we own this force/frequency for ourselves, we can authentically multiply and extend these vibrational feelings to others. Not until then. It is impossible to give someone a frequency we do not own for ourselves.

To begin this journey, simply make a daily commitment to identify, shift and change at least one negative aspect, thought, word or deed you express to a positive loving one.

Learning to love oneself means taking positive steps to increase how we treat ourselves. Each step mastered, grows, and expands our circle of self-love.
Although self-love is an instinct, it has been sabotaged by fear. Fear is the protective mechanism put in place for survival to explain away uncomfortable or "bad" situations. When we cannot cope with some thought, word, or deed, fear is our wall of protection.

Unfortunately for many, fear becomes a demanding tyrant, seldom shares, and always wants its way. Self-love is the key to breaking these destructive patterns of protective fear. This healthy frequency can be nurtured to replace previously focused negative emotions that have become automatic responses.

The perfect way for us to begin each day empowered is to speak powerful, loving affirmations to ourselves. Affirmations are simply statements that we make mentally or verbally that lift our thoughts to a non-judgmental, loving level.

They affirm positive ideas and beliefs about oneself and their surroundings.
They are free to use any time, so repeat as necessary to keep frequencies high and aligned with love.

Example affirmations:
• I make time to tend to and care for my body.
• I matter! I do not need to be anyone but ME!
• I release all stress and negative thoughts about my body.
• I am empowered to change my world.
• I appreciate my body for all it does for me each day.
• I say no to others easily when my own needs are warranted.
• I celebrate life minus negative, destructive thoughts invading.
• I move my body with joy and gratitude.
• My imperfections are the things that make me uniquely special.
• Good health is important to me.
• I radiate confidence and self-esteem.
• I choose to prioritise my mental and physical health.
• I accept myself with love, admiration, respect, and appreciation.
• I celebrate small wins.
• I am in charge of my health.
• I eat foods that nourish my body and help me feel energised and radiant.
• I deserve every success and happiness; the universe is working with me to succeed.

Being assertive about putting one's personal needs above others means getting our own house in order before we try to extend our energy to fix others. No need to make it this difficult project.

To begin this journey, simply make a daily commitment to identify, shift and change at least one negative aspect, thought, word or deed you express to a positive loving one. Each day builds on the previous until all those negative nellies are banished!

Writing these intentions down helps us to be accountable. Studies prove we are much more likely to follow through if we have previously written down what and when we plan on doing something, probably because we are engaging more of our senses. So, grab a pencil and paper and commit yourself to change on paper where the message is received loud and clear and can be read over and over as a motivator and reminder.