The death of a partner is a driving force behind loneliness among older Northlanders. Photo / Katarzyna Bialasiewicz
A woman in her 90s who had not left her home in three years. Another pensioner who went three weeks without seeing anyone.
These are just some of the experiences of Northland’s lonely seniors.
According to Age Concern, loneliness among people 65 and over is at epidemic levels.
A study commissioned by the charitable organisation’s Auckland branch found 59% of people surveyed had felt lonely or socially isolated – 30% of whom experienced those feelings often or always.
While the Breaking Barriers study was carried out in Auckland and the Bay of Plenty, the findings also applied to Northland.
Age Concern Kaitāia & District manager Julie Moebus said people do not realise how much loneliness exists in the region.
She recalled supporting an elderly Northlander who hadn’t seen anyone for nearly a month.
Their family had moved and could only manage to visit every three weeks.
“That’s mentally really, really difficult.”
Moebus said it was a familiar story across the region. A lot of the time older people moved north to be with family, only to have whānau leave the area.
Medical problems, lack of transport and age prevented older Northlanders from connecting with others.
Victoria University professor emeritus Dr Philip Morrison, an expert in loneliness across ages, said there was a strong relationship between loneliness and income.
“Loneliness rises as income falls.”
That’s a concern for Northland, given an NZIER report released this year showed the region’s median income at $378 per week in 2023 was the lowest in New Zealand.
Morrison said people without a disposable income often turned down social invitations, such as going for a coffee.
Moebus said the more people went without contact, the more they regressed.
“Then when they do get to see people, they don’t want to because it’s too hard.”
Or the situation is flipped and they don’t want their visitor to leave, Moebus said.
Loneliness among Northland’s older population is not new.
Companion driving service Driving Miss Daisy Whangārei spoke of a woman in her 90s who in 2016 had not left her home in three years as she had no family and kept to herself.
They shared that all she wanted to do was see Whangārei’s iconic lifting bridge, Te Matau a Pohe, and buy clothes.
Moebus said people can still be lonely even when they’re surrounded by others, including family.
“It’s about how we connect with others.”
Morrison said there were different types of loneliness: emotional and social.
Emotional loneliness is where the person does not have a close partner, whereas social loneliness is how connected someone is to a social network.
Elderly people tended to suffer emotional loneliness after the death of a partner, Morrison said.
Moebus spoke of an elderly Far North man whose partner had died, and he simply wanted someone to walk around Lake Ngatu with.
Morrison said research showed that men suffered more from loneliness after the death of a partner than women.
He believed that was because of the different ways men and women socialise. Women often have a wider group of friends, whereas men tend to keep a small pool of close mates.
“What that tells me is that men who have lost their partner probably do need special care,” Morrison said.
He thought society probably did not take loneliness seriously enough across all ages.
“We tend to be focused on the individual not withstanding the importance of the family.”
Moebus appealed to people to take time to connect with seniors.
“If an older person comes up to you and wants to have a chat, instead of brushing them off, spend a couple of minutes with them.
“Something small like that makes a big difference to their wellbeing.”
Moebus said the same went for reaching out to younger Northlanders, as they experienced loneliness too.
Morrison confirmed younger New Zealanders had higher rates of loneliness.
Where to get help:
Age Concern:
Provides a visiting service, support services, social activities and more.
Kaitāia & District
Telephone: 09 408 2997 or freephone 0800 65 2 105 Email: ageconcernkta@xtra.co.nz
Whangārei
Telephone:09 438 8043 or freephone 0800 65 2 105 Email: info@ageconcernwhg.org.nz
Loneliness New Zealand loneliness.org.nz
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