Kevin Page
Columnist
Kevin Page is a teller of tall tales with a firm belief too much serious news gives you frown lines.
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Check out Kevin’s latest content
Kevin Page: Caravan blunder makes us the talk of a small NZ town
Thankfully, Mrs P is an expert – all women are, apparently – and we manage.
Kevin Page: From calm to chaos – my encounter with an angry road user
A face-off with an aggressive tailgater, diffusing the situation before it escalates.
Kevin Page: Fuel station mix-up had me worried
OPINION: I've never found it so difficult to part with my money.
Comment: Race for avocados strikes bum note
OPINION: Kevin Page is in pursuit of avocados for his beloved.
Kevin Page: A chaotic day at the beach
OPINION: Thankfully the kids were very excited to see all the snacks.
Kevin Page: Guinea fowl chaos: a night to remember in the caravan
OPINION: We are not about to let one sleepless night taint our pleasant experience.
Comment: It was a dirty job but someone had to do it
COMMENT: Kevin Page encounters some unpleasant work stories.
Kevin Page: Age really is just a number
OPINION: I heard him say 'It’s for the old guy out the front'.
Kevin Page: A fitting afternoon to dust off the wetsuits
OPINION: 'I don't know about you but I'm not a big beach person.'
Kevin Page: Shopping with Mrs P
OPINION: Car cricket is a good way to pass the time.
Comment: Scenic stroll turns to canine chaos
OPINION: Kevin Page has a muddy adventure.
Comment: Dipsticks galore under the hood
OPINION: Kevin Page has been fiddling with his car's engine.
Kevin Page: $185 ‘saved’ during personal time
OPINION: Occasionally, you need five minutes to yourself. 'Personal time'.
Kevin Page: The spy who came from the Beemer down the road
Opinion: What were Dolly Parton and Batman doing at the pub?
Kevin Page: A walk in fresh air ends in tears
OPINION: 'There was an almighty, thunderous roar.'
Kevin Page: A walk in the fresh air can be a tonic for the soul
OPINION: I suddenly had to go out of town.
Kevin Page: In a pickle at the supermarket
OPINION: Kevin Page's shopping trip hits a snag.
Kevin Page: Getting the inside story on Brissie
OPINION: It pays to get the story correct before it’s passed on doesn’t it?
Comment: Hearty breakfast kicks off big day
OPINION: Kevin Page's day involved a lot of calories.
Earth completed another circuit, and it was time for Kevin Page to get new glasses
Opinion: Kevin Page on his deteriorating eyesight
Kevin Page: Cleaning job half-baked
Comment: Kevin Page has one final job to do before tenants move into the house.
Kevin Page: Finally, the time has come to ride off into the sunset
OPINION: Sometimes boyish good looks and natural charm are not enough.
Kevin Page: It was just a simple job - collect a trailer and tow it
Opinion: 'My task was to deliver all their stuff to their new digs.'
Kevin Page: Spilling the beans on a brekkie bogan
OPINION: The fun began when he was trying to get some baked beans on to his plate.
Kevin Page: Cheers to change of plans
OPINION: An unexpected 'surprise' turns into an exciting opportunity.
Kevin Page: Mrs P and I were in disagreement, and I started to wonder how we got there
Opinion: It was actually kind of funny now that I think about it.
Kevin Page: An appreciation of the much-anticipated sleep in
Kevin had planned for a sleep-in but progress got in the way.
Real estate or prostate - the two topics for men of a certain age
OPINION: One man had never been to an auction. He got paler as the event went on.
Opinion: ‘Weather’ turns as new caravan gets test drive
OPINION: The first trial of the new caravan does not run smoothly.
Hunt for an elusive mouse will not be the last - Kevin Page
OPINION: Going into battle armed with a wooden bowl may be one for the history books.
OPINION: Stag do plans cause anxiety
The Pages have a wedding to celebrate - and a stag do to fear.
Kevin Page: A stranger wanted bricks but got so much more
However, the man turned his nose up at tri-pillow as he didn't know how to work it.
Opinion: Unexpected delights snapped up at garage sale
The Pages have been helping out with a garage sale.
Kevin Page: Much in need of a hand
So now here I am tapping away with one hand to bring you a giggle over your cornflakes.
Kevin Page: 'Young people today just have no manners'
OPINION: Common decency and politeness were very much in short supply that day.
Kevin Page: The joys of a new car
Mrs P had to bid farewell to her trusty little runabout of many years.
Kevin Page: 10,000 steps a day not so easy
Imagine Kevin Page's surprise when he pulls in next to his friend’s car.
Kevin Page: Memories came flooding back as I played the beautiful game
The joy associated with a Sunday-morning game of football in the park is right up there.
Comment: Blooming dilemma for Valentine’s/retirement celebration
Kevin Page has a thorny issue as he considers a surprise for his wife.
The drink you’re having when you’re not having a drink ... or so I thought - Kevin Page
It turns out the drink wasn't what I thought it was.
Getting snippy over toenail cutting
OPINION: Trouble is afoot in the Page household.
Kevin Page: A little prayer never hurt anybody - but my poor feet
OPINION: I do find some comfort in believing there is something “up there” when we die.
Opinion: Never too late for Christmas ham
"I decided to make things a little easier ... and go without."
Kevin Page: You really can teach an old dog new tricks
OPINION: I absolutely despise gardening. Particularly pulling out weeds.
Kevin Page: How do you respond to complete denial?
I’m jolted into sharp focus by the blast of a car horn.
One wedding, so many disasters
Kevin Page finds the road to wedded bliss is paved with challenges.
OPINION: Famous last words - don’t forget the cucumbers
By the time I got home and had carted all the groceries inside I’d had enough.
Kevin Page: A 'hole' lot of hassle in my first impression
I kid you not, my foot looked like something from Outer Space.
Kevin Page: Karma is a beautiful thing
OPINION: I recall my dad telling me to be the bigger person.
Kevin Page: Who was I to tell Mrs P what had really happened
Motivation has stayed in the back of the closet lately.
Giant Biker Dude saves the day
OPINION: Kevin Page encounters some goings-on at the petrol pump.
Kevin Page: George howled in pain and we had a very important decision to make
I bit my lip to stop it quivering and took my four-legged mate to the vet.
Kevin Page: Parking pickle ends on an amicable note
OPINION: I thanked him for doing the right thing and not just driving off.
Comment: Smashed avocado on menu after shopping trip
Kevin Page has been causing chaos in the supermarket.
Kevin Page: The weather keeps raining on my birthday parade
Any 'big' birthday you are required by law to get away from it all and go on holiday.
For a brief minute or so our lives were filled with the possibility of great trauma
I was busy trying to figure out where any would-be burglar would try to make his escape.
Comment: Breaking up is hard to do
Kevin Page dishes up his latest domestic disaster.
OPINION: Kevin Page discovers auditions are tough
This week Mrs P and I found ourselves at two auditions.
Opinion: Quiet night in mushrooms to memorable night out
Kevin Page and The Scottish Plumber have another night to remember.
Nothing beats history between old mates
Catching up with an old friend made my day, and his.
Kevin Page: I’m not the brightest dinner guest
Opinion: There was probably a simpler reason for things looking a lot darker to me.
Kevin Page: Mrs P proves a tower of strength against rowdy tourists
We're planning a holiday away.
Comment: Budding entrepreneur smashing it with business acumen
A young avocado seller dishes it up to the Pages.
Opinion: The things you see when you’re in your car
It got worse as he angrily grabbed the handle of the trolley.
Dressed to clash: Blokes don’t get what all the fuss is about
Opinion: When some other individual has chosen exactly the same outfit as you.
Kevin Page: A hole lot of trouble brings a whole lot of laughter
Opinion: Comedy is all about timing, which Kevin Page experienced first-hand in the garden
Kevin Page: Have you heard the one about the retiree, the educator and the tractor driver?
I feel we seem to have lost touch with the average John and Jane citizen.
Kevin Page: Raising awareness about people's lack of spatial awareness
Several occasions of being walked into by others has given Kevin Page food for thought.
A greedy goose, a toddler and man’s best friend
Opinion: Sometimes, real life is a lot more interesting than watching television.
Kevin Page: A not so smoothie tale
My beloved has been plying me with a smoothie most mornings lately.
Kevin Page: Being a model citizen comes with its drawbacks
Posing for a photographer causes issues for columnist Kevin Page.
Comment: Mastering technology is child's play
Kevin Page conquers a new technological challenge with help from a 6-year-old.
Kevin Page: Rapid intervention helps save sparky's bacon
For the next hour or so I was shadowed by the two little porkers.
Kevin Page: Not the sort of all-nighter we used to have
Forgive me if there is an 'oldies' tinge to the tale.