KEY POINTS:
A man can be defined by the way he treats a lady, leading Auckland stylist and retail manager Robert Niwa says.
While amused to hear of the pending re-publication of Dame Barbara Cartland's 1960s etiquette bible, Mr Niwa said times had moved on: the 21st-century gentleman was defined not by how his lady treated him, but by how he treated his lady.
"How to treat a lady is an essential one. I guess it's those flowers and chocolates. It's the small things they really like that go a long way. Considerate things."
Men were no longer expected to always open a door for a lady or pay for her share of a meal, something men could use to their advantage, Mr Niwa said.
"Because it's now unexpected, it means more. It's a sly man move, I guess."
Buying a woman gifts - flowers, chocolates or dinner were always safe fallbacks - showed a man's thoughtfulness, he said.
And such a gift need not be expensive - it could be just a $6 bunch of flowers.
Consideration should also extend to those who invite you to their homes, Mr Niwa said. He recites a tip his mother gave him:
"Whenever I'm going around to someone's house, especially a woman's, I always take flowers. You can't go empty-handed. It's just tacky. Just a small bunch of freesias will do - it goes a long way."
And the next day, phone your host to say thank you.
Such behaviour was easy, but had largely vanished in Auckland society, Mr Niwa said.
"I see it every day. There's no please or thank-yous, no may I's."
Kiwi women were certainly different from their European counterparts, he said, but he was a firm believer that there were no ugly women in NZ.
There were, however, a few lazy ones, who gave too little time to themselves and their appearance.
But he also said: "Women's lives are full. They are always busy. I'm sure they would love to be in their high heels and have their nails perfectly done. But I just don't think they have the time."