You can talk football until you're blue in the face but, ultimately, it all boils down to a basic concept.
That is, simply planting the flaming ball between the two sticks on the paddock.
You can pass the ball around until the cows come home and make enough flower arrangements in the 18m box to service a royal wedding but if you can't bury the ball into the back of the net in 90 minutes then you are doomed to fail.
The late Brian Clough, a professional player who went on to manage Nottingham Forest and Derby County, once said: "It only takes a second to score a goal."
Easier said than done, it seems, if the Central League men's football competition is anything to go by this season.
After five games on the trot in Wellington in the premier winter league, Bluewater Napier City Rovers registered a scoreless draw against Chatham Cup defending champions Miramar Rangers last Sunday in their first home game this season at Park Island.
Rovers midfielder Sven Exeter reckons if the Blues score first against Cru Bar Maycenvale United in their historic derby at the Hawke's Bay Regional Sports Park tomorrow at 2pm then it'll go a long way to lifting them off the bottom rung of the ladder.
A fair point but, all said and done, the Rovers remain winless as they sit last in the 10-team league.
To be fair, they haven't had easy opponents to date and travelling every weekend until last Sunday couldn't have been easy.
While tomorrow's derby in Vale's debut season could see one team licking their wounds after 90-plus minutes, it'll be the most exciting match-up the Bay has seen for some time.
It should draw a bigger crowd than any Hawke's Bay United match lured last summer in the ASB Premiership.
It's simply because anyone who ever cared anything about the game will be there to see who prevails among two sides boasting several pedigree players and exciting young talent.
Seasoned Rovers striker Stu Wilson says: "There's a lot more riding on it because you'll be playing against people who are your mates and who were playing before with you and are now playing against you.
"You know, you've spent time with them in the pubs and you know each other's families so there's a lot more excitement and anticipation," says the 30-year-old who was the league's 2008 golden boot winner.
He agrees his Rovers teammates, at the start of the season, talked about beating Vale when contemplating the unthinkable.
"I told them I'd happily lose to Maycenvale if it means going on to win the league or finishing higher up in the competition," Wilson says.
"No doubt a lot will be written and talked about after Sunday's game for years to come and we'd like to be on the end of it and, I'm sure, they would too," he says, urging fans, regardless of their club or code affiliations, to watch "a great spectacle" tomorrow.
Former Rovers striker David Gearey, who found himself gravitating towards the engine room about five years ago, echoes Wilson's sentiments in that both teams have mates who play together for Hawke's Bay United.
Gearey, who got married a fortnight ago to Tracey - the daughter of ex-Bay United general manager Les Cunningham - believes the winter league is much tougher than people think.
It was as tough as the summer premiership considering players travelled and played a lion's share of the games in Wellington where clubs were stronger.
Gearey says while Vale have been finding the back of the net consistently and would like to score more goals, they were guilty of conceding soft goals.
Evidently Rovers are a stronger defensive side and Wilson can score but he believes their rivals are not getting the go-forward from the midfield upwards.
Some players' inability to put their foot on the ball, look up and distribute balls at crucial times was one reason why they weren't scoring goals.
Impatience amid inexperience and the lack of skills all contribute to poor finishing, he says.
"We're the new kids on the block so we've got to give the Rovers some respect but we don't fear them," says the 32-year-old who moved to Vale from Marist two years ago after elder brother Richard and their mates moved to play for the Pacific Premiership Taradale team.
After the peak of his Bay United career from 1999-2002, Gearey found himself coming off the bench after he couldn't shake off the nigglies.
Given a free reign to work under his own fitness regime, Gearey renewed his passion for the top level and worked his way back into the summer franchise team with a contract after last Christmas.
Vale have declared this weekend their club day and Solomon Islands striker Joachim Rande believes it'll be all about the fans.
"We definitely want to win. Our team's pretty good so it depends on how we perform because sometimes we tend to lose our concentration," says the 21-year-old Youngheart Manawatu player who has four goals to date.
Ask him what his secret is to scoring goals and Rande will tell you it's the concerted effort of the team that finds the net, not the individual. The hosts are likely to field Rande's countryman and defender, Arnold Keni, who eventually got immigration clearance this week.
Right winger Exeter, who prefers the engine room, believes his Rovers team are not scoring because they aren't getting enough bodies into the 18m box.
"We need to back ourselves and let it rip ... let the cannon go," the 27-year-old former Napier Boys' High School pupil says.
Primarily the Rovers need an early goal to ensure they aren't chasing shadows after oppositions draw first blood, the former New Zealand Secondary Schools representative says.
Exeter, whose grandparents hailed from Norway and established a boat-building shed along the Ahuriri waterfront on arriving here, says players have also forgotten to enjoy themselves.
Wilson, like Exeter, feels players switch off to any collective gasps and groans from the crowd when they falter.
Self-belief in their ability is vital. He feels the players need to be "thinking smarter".
"Myself, Andy Pickering and Andy Bevin aren't six foot four centre forwards so we'd prefer the ball at our feet or waist height," he says, although revealing perhaps there was the case of players "over thinking" or striking the ball when off balance.
"It's not a major problem but we've got to find shape and defend sensibly.
"To rectify it we need to stop thinking about it and go back to doing it [scoring goals]," he says, confident once one of their strikers finds the net the floodgates will open.
In the paperweight department, Rovers have as many players with ASB premiership experience as Vale so what'll give?
On the day, it'll boil down to whether that experience will withstand the pressure of 90-plus minutes.
Olympic manager Simon George reckons Vale have a tendency to become lethargic in the final leg.
All will be revealed tomorrow.
Squads:
Maycenvale Utd (from): Brendan Adema (GK), Jonathon Gould (RGK), Adam Chandler, Arnold Keni, James Oxtoby, Phil Dol, Marvin Eakins, Sam Halligan (c), Ben Simons, Lucas Da Silva, Daniel Ball, Nick Lucas, David Gearey, Joachim Rande, Leon Birnie, Greg O'Connor.
Coach/player: Chris Greatholder.
Napier City Rovers (from): Shaun Peta (GK), Matthew Gould (RGK), Lee Jackson, Bill Robertson, Regan Cameron (c), Matt Hastings, Stu Wilson, Matt Single, Danny Wilson, Andy Pickering, Josh Stevenson, Nick Dockary, Fergus Neil, Nick Matheson, Hamish Price, Sven Exeter, Luke Chapman.
Coach: Grant Hastings.
Central league football: Mother of all derbies
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