A Daytona Beach man has been arrested for the illegal act of feeding a wild alligator. Photo / NZME
These can feel like pretty bleak times. Stories relating to the pandemic, pugnacious protesters and Putin's power can all conspire to bring our mood down so it's time to remind ourselves there are amusing things happening too.
Yes, of course we should take the bleak stories seriously but, for balance, we need some flippant stuff as well.
We could, for example, take a moment or two to relax over the exploits of a teenager in Nova Scotia. Sixteen-year-old Saul Hafting set a Guinness world record by doing something ... well ... something silly. Ignoring Covid, Ukraine and the Canadian border protests, he spent 72 minutes solving 211 Rubik's cubes while bouncing on a pogo stick.
Meanwhile, in Iraq, a man was aiming to create another Guinness world record by doing something else that could be described as silly, but not as silly as bouncing on a pogo stick while solving Rubik's cubes. Unlike Hafting, Ibrahim Sadeq had to remain very still for his claim to fame, which involved balancing 18 eggs on the back of his hand.
His patience and focus enabled him to equal the record set by Jack Harris of Great Britain in 2020. He is therefore the co-holder of the Guinness world record.
Both of these record attempts were probably inspired by the efforts of David Rush of Idaho who describes himself as "one of the most prolific Guinness world records title holders on the planet". His goal was to break a record for every week of 2021 and, because they can sometimes take months to be approved, some are pending.
You would like a sampling, I'm sure. Most kiwifruit sliced in one minute using a samurai sword while standing on a Swiss ball. Another version of this was the most grapes sliced in the air in one minute with a sword while standing on a Swiss ball. For variation, there was also the longest time balancing a bicycle on the chin or the most toilet rolls balanced on the head.
But now, of course, it's time to move on to alligator news. A 67-year-old Daytona Beach man has been arrested for the illegal act of feeding a wild alligator. Paul Fortin named his "friend" Hank and would talk to him, pet him and feed him regularly. Unfortunately, he chose to post a video of the alliance that led to a visit from the police, who were alerted to his crime by the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission.
"He used to like bread but now he's a little bit more fussy," Fortin said to explain his alligator's penchant for bagels. One wonders what Hank would think of cronuts. Or profiteroles au chocolat.
It's time now for doggy-dos news. A British firm that produces plant-based pet foods is seeking a dog owner to do sniff tests for it. It will pay the successful applicant over $6000 if they will switch their pet's diet to its plant-based product and perform regular and documented sniff tests. This is to examine the effect a plant-based diet has on a dog's digestion, stool odour and general health.
A co-founder of the pet food company said, "We are [already] getting feedback that dogs' stools have improved in terms of colour, consistency and smell," so those are the three criteria on which the successful applicant should focus. I must say the improvement of dog stools is something I have never thought about in my life so far.
And finally, it's over to the weather. This weekend there will be plenty of weather but possibly not enough to go round. Sunday could see a late southerly change bringing scattered pogo sticks and Rubik's cubes.
• Wyn Drabble is a teacher of English, a writer, musician and public speaker.