It looks like I’m due for some new spare parts. In the mornings I often feel I need a new starter motor or a recharged battery, for example, but here I’m not talking about automotive
Wyn Drabble: The world of spare body parts
These days, it seems, medical experts can replace every part of the human body, says Wyn Drabble.
![Wyn Drabble](https://www.nzherald.co.nz/resizer/v2/OP6MTUWF5NGENMXF5CHEA5LXIU.jpg?auth=3e8f8827dbd330289db80495497570dc03d5c79e83530eb2ba685add177e0562&width=16&height=12&quality=70&smart=true)
I learned too that there is a lighter side to prosthetics. One delightful story involves a man who needed a new nose. The first night he wore it he discovered a problem. He used to enjoy the occasional whiskey-drinking night with a group of friends and, after a few nips, his face would flush.
But not the nose, of course. The solution was to have a second nose made – a drinking nose.
Another prosthetic recipient had a glue-on ear. One day while relaxing at a local beach he was body-surfing into shore and the force of a wave dislodged it. There was no chance of finding it and the loser’s imagination ran riot.
What would be the reaction of an innocent bather finding a human ear washed up on the shore? What if a dog ran with it between its teeth and delivered it to its owner?
And imagine the newspaper headline: Body parts wash up on local beach.
Instead of using glue, ears can be attached by magnet. This requires a small receiver magnet to be implanted in one’s skull.
A far simpler method for wearers of glasses is to attach the ear to the temples (side-bars) of the spectacles. This method is not without its shortcomings; spectacle-wearers often have cause to remove their glasses.
Blu-Tack is another option.
There have been huge advances in the world of replacement parts; prosthetics, rather than being just hooked or glued on, can now become robotic attachments integrated with the wearer’s brain. Please don’t ask me to explain this; I’m happy to leave that in the world of science-fiction.
Already there are hints of prosthetics that actually enhance, rather than just match, human abilities. This raises ethical concerns; just what can we consider to be a natural actual human being? Might this all be seen as playing God?
With all these advances and, I’m sure with the help of AI too, the modern pirate – already sporting a peg leg – will soon be able to enjoy the benefits of a fully-functional live parrot surgically attached to his shoulder.
But I’m not looking at anything as sophisticated as that. I’ll be happy with a knee and another hip if that’s what I need.
I’m just trying to avoid having a tag put around my wrist: superseded model – spare parts no longer available.