Wyn Drabble says wise money was on the NZ-Netherlands T20 game being cancelled at McLean Park, on Friday. Photo / Paul Taylor
Wyn Drabble says wise money was on the NZ-Netherlands T20 game being cancelled at McLean Park, on Friday. Photo / Paul Taylor
Wise money was on the NZ-Netherlands T20 game being cancelled. The ordinary man on the street was sensible enough to know it would never go ahead; too sodden underfoot, showers still passing through, too dangerous for the players. Bleakness. No way it could go ahead.
Friday, March 25, 7pm sharp.We cross now to McLean Park in Napier for live coverage of this special T20 game between the Black Caps and the Netherlands. Over to you, Selwyn (not his real name – to save embarrassment).
Yes, good evening. The covers are still on here and the teams are warming up under the verandah. I can't report on the pitch because I can't currently see it but I can report that the outfield is sodden and squelching over and into my galoshes as I speak. I should have worn my gummies. Jeremy (not his real name), how do you see the evening panning out?
Jeremy: Yes, the teams are keen to play cricket out there tonight but we're going to have to wait for these pesky showers to pass through, so I'm guessing we'll be calling on a lot of archival footage while we wait. Or we could just show live rainfall.
Selwyn: Yes, I'm with you there. We're currently going with the live rainfall and, as you can see now it's coming down in drops just like normal rain. Yes, it's definitely rain. But nothing will deter this crowd of ... let me count ... ooh, easily upwards of seven. They're here to see cricket.
Jeremy: Yes, they're definitely here to see cricket but, right now, we'll cut to an ad break then we'll be back with more live coverage. Don't go away now.
(Five minutes of commercials – not reproduced here for obvious reasons.)
Wyn Drabble
Selwyn: Welcome back and the good news is that we now have a revised start time, 8pm, and as you can see through the drizzle the crowd has not budged – they're here to see cricket. And the teams are still warming up under the verandah. They're here to play cricket.
And to you cricket fans watching from home, it's not too late to come on down and experience the live vibe. Tickets are still selling online.
But let's now throw to some archival footage.
Jeremy: No wait. I think there's a break in the weather. The umpires are trudging out in their gumboots and peeking under the covers. Relief! The pitch is still there. Let's use the available technology to listen in on their decision.
Umpire 1: Let's say first ball at 9pm.
Umpire 2: Yes, as long as the outfield dries out.
Umpire 1: And until then, let's go back inside and take advantage of the complimentary drinks trolley.
Selwyn: Well, that's encouraging news. And the crowd is remaining seated. I also hear that the hot dog stand has just sold its second hot dog of the evening. It's all terribly encouraging.
Jeremy: Yes, I agree, Selwyn. Terribly encouraging. But let's go back to some archival footage in the meantime. We take it up at the beginning of the third over from the SCG in 1985.
(Archival footage follows, interrupted only by lengthy ad breaks.)
Selwyn: We're back again but I'm afraid the news is not good. In fact it's bad.
Jeremy: Yes, very bad, Selwyn. It's not at all good.
Selwyn: Yes, I guess we'll just have to stay with archival footage, coverage of rain falling or a debate about what could have happened in the game. The umpires in their wisdom have decided to abandon the cricket because the conditions are unsuitable.
Ordinary men on the street: All that was pretty obvious hours ago. We just went to the movies instead.
• Wyn Drabble is a teacher of English, a writer, musician and public speaker
