Wyn Drabble: Tense time for trendy names

We are all different when it comes to choosing names for our offspring. It's all part of the rich pageant of human life.

Some prefer tried and true names with sound pedigree. Others prefer to be "creative" and devise names that are unusual to say the least and which, in some cases, break rules of spelling, pronunciation and human decency.

Each to his own, as they say.

There are also the researchers who look at naming trends and the latest discovery is that the popularity of the "noun" name is waning - think Faith, Charity, Apple, Peaches and Sparrow - and the "adjective" is starting to put up a good show.

And, as you would expect, celebrities set the pace. Macy Gray, for example, has a Happy, Adam Sandler has a Sunny and Forrest Whittaker has a True.

One famous footballer and his fashion writer wife have named their son Trendy.

The research also suggests that we can expect, in the coming months, a lot of adjectives naming qualities the parents presumably want to see in their children: Noble, Brave, Strong, Loyal and Loving are on their way.

Well, I'm one who likes to set rather than follow trends so I would like to introduce to you some ideas that I know will be popular in the future.

Clearly, parts of speech are the way to go, so when the adjective has done its dash I think you'll see a good showing from verbs, both transitive and intransitive.

For a full range of variants, you could conjugate your verb.

Verbs denote action so can provide lively first names with a sense of doing.

I know already of a Meander, Mea for short. If Meander's parents instead had a son, they were going to call him Run. And no, I didn't make that up.

Among other verbs which spring to mind are: Harmonise (although I can imagine people favouring the spelling variant Harmonyze), Promise (Prommyss), Imagine (Y-madge-inn) and Chase (spelt P-h-o-e-b-e but pronounced Myrtle).

Those with a penchant for things European only need to open a French textbook and choose a French verb. Danser has potential. So too do Aimer, Trouver, Voir, Devenir, Choisir and Courir.

After the verb has trended, we should see a brief burst from the adverb. I'm picking Quickly, Lovingly, Fondly, Nimbly and Randomly as big favourites.

For those enamoured of hyphens there will always be the option of the rather longer adverbial clause of time.

Because of human nature we will soon tire of adverbs and, it being quite tough to make an adverbial clause fall trippingly from the tongue, we may turn to the rather easier relative pronoun.

Choices will be quite limited, of course, but expect to see some brothers and sisters named Who and Whom.

Next up will be the conjunction and if the move is initiated by celebrities it will be followed by the masses.

I'm picking that Whether, Neither and Yet will be quite popular, but that people may steer clear of the simplicity of But, And and So.

I feel prepositions will be less likely to have any impact. In, At and On lack pizzazz. After that - I reckon about May next year - the parts of speech thing will have run its course so people will be looking around for a new theme.

I'm picking that social networking could provide trendy options.

"I hereby christen you Twitter Facebook Friend Whateva Smith."

And, by about July, perhaps body parts will be providing the inspiration, or should I say will be trending.

Thus, in another three decades or so we should be witnessing the following: "Do you, Colon Spleen Trachea Jones, take Aorta Medulla Pancreas Smithers to be your lawful wedded wife?"

If all else fails and you feel you are simply not one of those people who can keep up with trends, Rowan Atkinson showed us in Blackadder that there is a name which defies times and trends, a name which lives on with timeless transgender dignity.

You can't go wrong with Bob.

Wyn Drabble is a teacher of English, a writer, public speaker and musician.