Family will drag them all out at your funeral to show on the big screen and they'll all have a jolly good laugh, which won't worry you too much because, by that time, you will be deceased.
There's none of all that nonsense with the old ones stored in the memory bank (though they are hard to show at your funeral). Many of them are as clear as the day they were created. Age has failed to dim them. My first bike is still there, still quaintly old-fashioned, still a second-hand bargain.
The same goes for all the rote-learned things from childhood such as times tables, which are permanently parked in my hippocampus. You certainly won't find me using a calculator for those.
Of course, that's not so much the case with recent memories which can... sorry, I'll have to get back to you on what they can.
Person One: My memory is so bad.
Person Two: How bad is it?
Person One: How bad is what?
Me: If I'm in this script too, I've forgotten which number person I am.
I am sure most of you will admit to having opened a cupboard door but then forgetting what you wanted from it, or having forgotten why you entered a room, or having opened the microwave to retrieve something from the fridge.
But I have unearthed some pleasing news about all this. US studies performed about 10 years ago show that laughing can help. When we laugh, the stress hormone cortisol (a memory enemy) decreases, and this improves our short-term memory.
You want figures? Research by one Gurinder Bains showed that after a group of individuals (average age 74) watched a 30-minute humorous video, their learning ability, delayed recall, and visual recognition improved by 38.7 per cent, 36.1 per cent, and 6.6 per cent respectively.
Later, after becoming Dr Gurinder Bains, he conducted short-term memory tests on two groups (which he labelled "elderly") at Loma Linda University School of Medicine in California. One group watched a 20-minute humour video, and the other simply sat in the waiting room.
At the end of the experiment, the humour group had significantly lower cortisol levels. This goes to show that short-term memory loss IS a laughing matter. So even by laughing at ourselves we might improve our lot. Self-deprecation could be the key.
Another source I investigated stated that it is only in recent years that psychology has respected humour as a fundamental human behaviour. Earlier it was seen as demonstrating superiority, vulgarity, Freudian id conflict, or a defence mechanism to hide true feelings.
Modern psychology, on the other hand, sees humour as a character strength, which is good news if you want to improve your short-term memory.
There was something else I wanted to share with you too - but, I'm sorry, I can't for the life of me remember what it was. My short-term memory is not as sharp as it once was.
What's worse, my short-term memory is not as sharp as it once was.
Wyn Drabble is a teacher of English, a writer, a musician and public speaker.