Hawkes Bay Today
  • Hawke's Bay Today home
  • Latest news
  • Sport
  • Business
  • Opinion
  • Lifestyle
  • Property
  • Video
  • Death notices
  • Classifieds

Subscriptions

  • Herald Premium
  • Viva Premium
  • The Listener
  • BusinessDesk

Sections

  • Latest news
  • On The Up
  • Sport
  • Business
  • Opinion
  • Lifestyle
  • Property
    • All Property
    • Residential property listings
  • Rural
    • All Rural
    • Dairy farming
    • Sheep & beef farming
    • Horticulture
    • Animal health
    • Rural business
    • Rural life
    • Rural technology

Locations

  • Napier
  • Hastings
  • Havelock North
  • Central Hawke's Bay
  • Tararua

Media

  • Video
  • Photo galleries
  • Today's Paper - E-Editions
  • Photo sales
  • Classifieds

Weather

  • Napier
  • Hastings
  • Dannevirke
  • Gisborne

NZME Network

  • Advertise with NZME
  • OneRoof
  • Driven Car Guide
  • BusinessDesk
  • Newstalk ZB
  • Sunlive
  • ZM
  • The Hits
  • Coast
  • Radio Hauraki
  • The Alternative Commentary Collective
  • Gold
  • Flava
  • iHeart Radio
  • Hokonui
  • Radio Wanaka
  • iHeartCountry New Zealand
  • Restaurant Hub
  • NZME Events

SubscribeSign In

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.
Premium
Home / Hawkes Bay Today

Wyn Drabble: I have several burning questions

By Wyn Drabble
Hawkes Bay Today·
22 Aug, 2023 09:58 PM4 mins to read

Subscribe to listen

Access to Herald Premium articles require a Premium subscription. Subscribe now to listen.
Already a subscriber?  Sign in here

Listening to articles is free for open-access content—explore other articles or learn more about text-to-speech.
‌
Save

    Share this article

    Reminder, this is a Premium article and requires a subscription to read.

One of Wyn Drabble's burning questions is why do seemingly normal adults go into the parliamentary debating chamber and turn into spiteful, bickering children in a sandpit, flicking sand into each other’s eyes?

One of Wyn Drabble's burning questions is why do seemingly normal adults go into the parliamentary debating chamber and turn into spiteful, bickering children in a sandpit, flicking sand into each other’s eyes?

It’s true to say there are plenty of burning questions which many of us would like answered. If these queries are to be catalogued, this week’s column will of necessity contain far too many question marks. So be it.

I won’t be offering many answers to the questions but I reserve the right to comment on some of them. And I won’t be touching “Why are we here?” as it is far too big.

You’ll be familiar with some from my poultry category: Why did the chicken cross the road? Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Where do the nuggets come from on a chicken? Even though they cannot really be answered satisfactorily, they offer plenty of scope for humour so are well worth keeping.

Naturally enough there’s a political category. Why do seemingly normal adults go into the parliamentary debating chamber and turn into spiteful, bickering children in a sandpit, flicking sand into each other’s eyes? Who knows?

As you would probably expect, I even have a language category of my own. Why do people say nucular for nuclear, for example? Arks for ask? Mischievious for mischievous? Irregardless for regardless? Triathalon for triathlon? Pronounciation for pronunciation? Chomp at the bit for champ at the bit?

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

I even have a Missing L sub-category. Why do people call polka dots poker dots? Why do so many say vunerable for vulnerable?

Wyn Drabble
Wyn Drabble

The English language is a veritable mine of inconsistencies anyway. Why is one pronounced wun? Why is abbreviated quite a long word? Why do slim chance and fat chance mean the same thing?

But it’s in my big general/other/miscellaneous category that you might find more of the questions you yourself ask.

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

Where do missing socks go? My quite substantial sock and undie drawer generally contains at least two single socks though I don’t seem to have the same problem with undies. One suggestion for the missing socks is that they make up the rings around Saturn. Unfortunately this theory has already been taken up by lost airline luggage.

I’m sure I’m not the only one who wants to know why a comment which begins with, “I’m not a racist but ...” is invariably followed by a racist statement.

When French people say bad words, do they say, “Pardon my English”? Again, I don’t know.

In weather forecasting, when does partly cloudy become partly sunny? And when does scattered cloud turn to cloudy?

This one I know is asked by many teachers in many schools. Why, oh why, do so many parents phone their children during class time? Do they believe that a classroom is a giant office where people man the phones to answer queries? I understand sending a text which the child can check after the lesson but live phone calls?

But the one that set me on this path of questions happened today. As a little treat for some young people I bought four bags of assorted toffees. In this assortment, there are various flavours and I tend to eat my favourites first (toffee de luxe, egg and cream, malt, coconut) but I leave mint and Harrogate until last.

After I had administered the toffees to their intended recipients, there was one bag left over so, naturally enough, I decided to enjoy some. I took one. It was mint. I took another. Mint. I promise this happened six times. On the seventh I drew Harrogate.

It turned out that more than half the toffees in this particular pack were mint. In second place, Harrogate.

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

So I would like to end with another question and it will show I’m here to probe the really big issues. Just how could this happen in a toffee assortment?

Wyn Drabble is a teacher of English, a writer, musician and public speaker.

Save

    Share this article

    Reminder, this is a Premium article and requires a subscription to read.

Latest from Hawkes Bay Today

Hawkes Bay Today

Praise for restaurant's response after former deputy mayor dies at family dinner

Premium
Opinion

Gail Pope: Robert Louis Stevenson’s Samoan home shot by Hawke’s Bay photographer

Hawkes Bay Today

The 2.2% dream: What we would need to sacrifice to get the lowest rate rise in NZ


Sponsored

Solar bat monitors uncover secrets of Auckland’s night sky

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

Latest from Hawkes Bay Today

Praise for restaurant's response after former deputy mayor dies at family dinner
Hawkes Bay Today

Praise for restaurant's response after former deputy mayor dies at family dinner

His family say he will leave a legacy of kindness, and he was surrounded by it to the end.

18 Jul 07:18 PM
Premium
Premium
Gail Pope: Robert Louis Stevenson’s Samoan home shot by Hawke’s Bay photographer
Opinion

Gail Pope: Robert Louis Stevenson’s Samoan home shot by Hawke’s Bay photographer

18 Jul 07:00 PM
The 2.2% dream: What we would need to sacrifice to get the lowest rate rise in NZ
Hawkes Bay Today

The 2.2% dream: What we would need to sacrifice to get the lowest rate rise in NZ

18 Jul 06:00 PM


Solar bat monitors uncover secrets of Auckland’s night sky
Sponsored

Solar bat monitors uncover secrets of Auckland’s night sky

06 Jul 09:47 PM
NZ Herald
  • About NZ Herald
  • Meet the journalists
  • Newsletters
  • Classifieds
  • Help & support
  • Contact us
  • House rules
  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms of use
  • Competition terms & conditions
  • Our use of AI
Subscriber Services
  • Hawke's Bay Today e-edition
  • Manage your print subscription
  • Manage your digital subscription
  • Subscribe to Herald Premium
  • Subscribe to the Hawke's Bay Today
  • Gift a subscription
  • Subscriber FAQs
  • Subscription terms & conditions
  • Promotions and subscriber benefits
NZME Network
  • Hawke's Bay Today
  • The New Zealand Herald
  • The Northland Age
  • The Northern Advocate
  • Waikato Herald
  • Bay of Plenty Times
  • Rotorua Daily Post
  • Whanganui Chronicle
  • Viva
  • NZ Listener
  • Newstalk ZB
  • BusinessDesk
  • OneRoof
  • Driven Car Guide
  • iHeart Radio
  • Restaurant Hub
NZME
  • NZME Events
  • About NZME
  • NZME careers
  • Advertise with NZME
  • Digital self-service advertising
  • Book your classified ad
  • Photo sales
  • © Copyright 2025 NZME Publishing Limited
TOP