Wyn Drabble: Having fun with collective nouns

Wyn Drabble's research found that a group of fantails (Pīwakawaka) could be covered by a spread or a war party. But his creation is a flutter of fantails. Photo / NZME

OPINION:

My recent bout of fun with collective nouns started with a dream in which I had one question left to win the prize pot in a quiz show.

Quizmaster: "What is the collective noun for a group of owls?"

Me: "Is it... a wisdom?"

Then the morning alarm went off, so the dream was cut short: I woke up not knowing whether or not I was a rich man.

Immediately I had to check via Google if my answer was right. My search revealed that the correct answer was a parliament, though the site did list congress, wisdom, hooting, stare or study as less common but acceptable alternatives. So I could have been a winner!

How did I know that answer? I feel sure that I didn't know it in my real life; it was just in my dream existence.

Anyway, the site naturally piqued my curiosity and, despite my disappointment at having missed out on the big prize, I went exploring.

It appears that many have a variety of alternatives – for cats, you can have a clowder, clutter, pounce, dout, nuisance, kindle, intrigue, glorying or glare – though I cannot attest to the correctness of some which sound very made-up. Please don't write in.

A shiver of sharks contains an element of peril, but I'm afraid the same does not apply to a float of crocodiles. It sounds too innocent to me. It lacks menace. The same applies to another alternative: a bask of crocodiles. It just sounds too relaxed.

I cannot really explain a business of ferrets (ferrets discussing proposals around the office water cooler?).

Wyn Drabble. Photo / Warren Buckland

I more easily understand a tower of giraffes and a bloat of hippos. And alliteration can certainly add pop, as in a flamboyance of flamingos, a pandemonium of parrots or a prickle of porcupines.

I feel an intrusion of cockroaches gets it right. And a murmuration of starlings has appeal.

But if I had to pick three favourites from the ones I found, they would be a soufflé of clouds, a gawky of pukekos and an exaltation of larks. Soufflé, I feel, speaks for itself, and gawky seems to capture the sometimes awkward and ungainly gait of the swamp hen (I'll just have to overlook the rather corporate-speaky use of an adjective as a noun).

The often extravagant songs of larks – well-documented in literature and music – deserve such a lofty, almost heavenly collective noun. The connotation of choirs of angels is certainly not unwarranted.

So, now it's my turn. My research found that fantails (Pīwakawaka) could be covered by a spread or a war party. My creation is a flutter of fantails.

Instead of a run of whitebait, which describes their travel down a river or estuary, I'm going with one which paints a picture of them once netted – a wiggle of whitebait.

For puffins, I found four possibilities: colony, raft, wheel, circus. I'm afraid I don't care for any of those, so I have come up with a puffery of puffins.

Turkeys were allocated either rafter or gang. I'm proposing a gobble of turkeys.

Based on the numbers around our place, I feel a berry of rabbits is too lame. I'm going military with a regiment of rabbits. Or a battalion of bunnies.

Herd and cohort are a little pedestrian for zebras. I'm going with a crossing of zebras.

I know that I might have created some that already exist on other sites, but I assure you I didn't know about them.

Again, please don't write in if you feel I have transgressed. I certainly don't want to receive a raft of responses, a crash of criticisms - a horror of hate mail.

Wyn Drabble is a teacher of English, a writer, musician and public speaker.