Wyn Drabble: Dedicated follower of fashionless

I can't even begin to tell you how many people, during the course of everyday events, ask me to share my beauty secrets. They might sidle up to me in the grains/pulses/farinaceous aisle of the supermarket and say things like: "However do you end up looking like that?"

I don't give away my secrets too easily but I am willing to share one small gem: I believe I look the way I do because I managed to ignore virtually all of the trends a recent article in Beauty magazine listed as the "top fashion ideas of 2011".

Well, 2011 is so old hat, so vieux chapeau now, anyway. I'm a forward looker, a trend setter, rather than a follower.

The first trend they identified was coloured hair. Katy Perry went pink but any shade was acceptable. I, on the other hand, stuck with something timeless and classic - grey. I tend to live by the Yves Saint Laurent maxim: fashions fade, style is eternal.

Braids were another 2011 trend. Diana Kruger, for instance, swept her locks to one side in a fishtail braid which gave her the appearance of a sun-bleached mermaid. I eschewed this look on the grounds that I lack the required hair.

Bright lips in "popping" colours were also popular ("popping" being defined as too garish even to be subdued by the military). Again, I avoided this idea as I feel vibrant colours only draw attention to imperfections and deformities. I stayed with the natural look - a sort of mutant greyish-pink.

The high bun was also popular in 2011. I avoided this trend for much the same reason I avoided the braid trend. Also because I still associate the bun with severe schoolmistresses wearing brown, 40-denier stockings.

Bright eyes were next on the list. I always exhibit bright eyes anyway but this trend was not about your natural colour: this was about applying lashings of colour AROUND the eye area. I find this sort of thing unnatural and unnecessary.

Christina Hendricks was a leader in the next trend; the anti-tan. Here, I have to admit, I became one of the sheep and followed this one quite religiously.

Strong brows were not only a big one in 2011 but, according to the magazine, they are "a trend we will be seeing next year too". I would classify mine as unruly rather than strong but I might have to have them trimmed for 2012 if I want to avoid being called a dedicated follower of fashion.

Finally, red hair was "in". People born with quite normal hair even CHOSE to adopt this one. Nothing, however, could shake me from my fondness for grey.

So what am I forecasting for 2012? Well, strong brows, obviously. But here are a few other trends I'm picking:

I believe fashion models will become plumper. The paper clip figure is unsustainable and, if the words of American humorist Dave Barry are anything to go by, downright dangerous too: "The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates."

"Cute" will be hot again. Remember the words of Paris Hilton: "The only rule is don't be boring and dress cute wherever you go. Life is too short to blend in." Mind you, my gut feeling is that blending in will also remain popular.

Fashion will imitate art more than it has in the past. Or, wait a minute, is it life will imitate art? Or life imitate fashion? Sorry, I'm a little confused on this one but rest assured it will definitely involve something imitating something.

There will be quite a bit of nudity in selected areas.

Black is back on track to be back as the new black (or the old black, back again). Come to think of it, has white ever been the new black? Maybe we'll hold that over until 2013.

I, of course, will not be a slave to fashion. I will not blindly follow others. I will start by sticking with grey as my hair colour of choice right through 2012 and possibly beyond.

And, shocking as this may sound to some fashion commentators, I shall even continue to wear some of last year's clothes.

Wyn Drabble is a teacher of English, a writer, public speaker and musician.