Wyn Drabble: Christmas chocolate tactics at play

Wyn Drabble suggests pacing your chocolate nosh at Christmas. Photo / NZME

Perhaps you have a strong will. Perhaps you can resist the abundance of festive chocolates on offer at this time of year. If that is so, this column is not for you; rather it is for those who lack willpower and need guidance when it comes to limiting their intake of festive chocolate (also shortbread, Christmas cake, caramels, nougat, toffee, scorched almonds).

Let’s start our discussion by examining the ubiquitous boxed selection. There is usually a key to the fillings but wrapping colour is often a useful indicator too. Green definitely indicates peppermint and, while I accept there will be people who firmly disagree with me on this, it is definitely the colour I leave until last.

Let’s be clear; I like peppermint and I like chocolates with peppermint filling. But the important thing is that I like the other flavours better, especially those that are fudgy, caramelly, truffley, gooey – in short, those that are really bad for you.

If I were the only consumer of a variety selection, those would be gone early on in the piece until there were only orange creams, strawberry creams and peppermint creams left. Then, albeit at a slower rate than the fudgy ones, the orange and strawberry would disappear leaving only those in the green wrappers. These would eventually disappear too.

I suppose if you had time on your hands, you could unwrap the whole selection and rewrap them in the wrong clothes. Offering these around could lead to hours of festive fun and possibly family arguments.

“The world is broken! I selected chewy caramel and I’ve got peppermint!”

In a box without a flavour key, some people will take the unspeakably rude step of pushing their finger into the chocolates to reveal whether the filling is hard or soft. Such behaviour is not to be countenanced under any circumstances.

But you might get away with taking a tiny biopsy from the underside.

We interrupt this column to bring you an interesting chocolate fact. For those wondering why Toblerone is triangular in shape, I can reveal that it is so it will fit into the box.

One little ploy that sometimes works – well, it did for me on one occasion – is to delay your chocolate consumption until later in the day. If you start in the morning you’re on the chocolate train for the rest of the day. Start at breakfast time and the consumption consequences are even more serious.

Perhaps aim for no earlier than 11am. But leave yourself a little slack. Aim for 11am but accept 10am as a pretty good effort.

The same delaying principle applies to a chocolate tradition in our house. Mrs D loves to put out a bowl of chocolates in the days leading up to Christmas so family and visitors alike can help themselves to a morsel or two of festive spirit. The bowl is constantly replenished.

I’m not the only family member who asks for the opening day to be delayed as much as possible. Any day in January might work.

When you feel you have failed restraint-wise, remind yourself that chocolate contains tryptophan, which the brain uses to produce serotonin, a hormone which makes you happy.

You might also like to know that a study by a Belgian university showed that when the smell of chocolate was released in bookshops, sales of books – particularly romance novels – increased. It’s hard to argue with information like that.

So, you may ask, how have I helped you to limit your festive season chocolate intake to a reasonable, medically approved level? What useful advice have I given you?

Well, I now realise I haven’t given you any. In fact, I’ve failed miserably.

Sorry.