Then one of them boarded his big aeroplane and flew off to argue in a different venue. He had his name painted along the side of his aeroplane.
What is frightening is that one of these two men could become the president of the United States of America, could become the most powerful and influential man in the world. The American dream could soon become a nightmare.
Democrat Adlai Stevenson II once said, "In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take." Comedian George Carlin tweaked it to, "In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem."
When I was born, Harry Truman was president but, at that time, I was too busy soiling diapers to get involved with such matters. Dwight Eisenhower was the first to enter my consciousness but it wasn't really on a political level: rather a fascination that anybody could be called Dwight.
I certainly remember all the rest and, while some were indeed worrying, I don't believe they would rank alongside Trump. Perhaps the one who came closest was George W. Bush who has been called by some commentators "the stupidest man ever to take the office of president" and "the worst president in the history of the United States of America".
Let's hope it's not just about time to pass that "honour" to another man.
I'm not a political animal; I don't go to political meetings or rallies and I don't help to finance a party. But I do vote. And I do know when to be frightened. By my reckoning, the whole world should be very frightened.
One of these men could become US president and that could affect all of us. If it's the one with the big aeroplane and the weasel wig, the world could see migration to another planet on a scale never before seen in the history of mankind. As a habitat, Neptune is sounding more attractive than ever. Most of us cannot begin to comprehend this man's wealth. To him, paying for a flag referendum would be like buying an ice cream cone. The Dotcom mansion would be a weekend bach.
According to Business Insider, the Trump aircraft has 24-carat gold seat belt buckles and gold-plated taps. That's the sort of attention to detail which really sorts the sheep from the goats.
Dodging Cruz missiles appears to be his hobby. If elected, he will also take up catching illegal immigrants Juan by Juan. My favourite made-up slogan for Trump's campaign is "We Shall Overcomb".
All of this has given me an idea for curbing anti-social media behaviour in teenagers. My method would take the form of a threat. I would simply look the offender straight in the eye and say, "Be warned. If you don't stop this kind of behaviour, you could become president of the United States of America."
- Wyn Drabble is a teacher of English, a writer, musician and public speaker.