What are Napier’s e-scooters like? A technically challenging ride

In the days of mobility scooters and other means of travel for those nearing or in their twilight years, it’s ironic but not necessarily surprising that the new purple scooters now gliding the pavements are not everyone’s cup of tea.

The Beam machines lack one crucial device, namely a warning system - both about the online instructions ahead, and for the rest of the population, that a self-educated maniac is on the loose. A bell doesn’t quite cut it.

Two days into Napier’s relationship with these things from outer space – I mean, how else do they get here? – I find, the hard way, it’s a good idea to read all the instructions before anything else.

Trouble is, we people; many of us had more than one visit to an optometrist, don’t like instructions because the print is too small, and are now trying to read them on our phones on a sunny day in the street while trying to balance the scooter, even while not in motion, with a bit of an audience wanting to see someone else try first.

Thing is, these legs are made for walking, and as I fidget with the purple one outside the Municipal Theatre, it seems I’m not alone. A passerby says she wouldn’t ride one and has no intention of trying.

The longest part of the exercise, having not done the homework beforehand, is trying to get to the stage of propulsion - app downloaded, details online, QR code scanned. Push-starting and correct depression of the button becomes an achievement, without explanation as to why.

Realising it’s costing 65 cents a minute, I’m off, telling one woman on the Tennyson St footpath she’s taking her life in her own hands by even being there. Heading towards CBD thoroughfare Emerson St, where public safety might be more at risk, the scooter stops of its own accord, not mine.

The first thing to do is download the, er, app, and read the instructions. Photo / Paul Taylor

We are apparently in a ‘no-ride’ zone, but I can’t see any signs. Hands over my face lest I be recognised, I push my scooter up towards Marine Parade where it’s all action again, in time to do multiple laps of the Veronica Sun Bay garden, and similarly even more laps of the grass in front of the Sound Shell, imitating Penelope ‘Pitstop’ Keith with scarf flailing behind.

Three girls practicing dance on the stage tell us they’ve just each ridden the scooters for the first time for half an hour, and it cost them $120.

We make it to the beachfront pathway and soon decide we’ve had our fun, but it’s during another mission, parking-up on the Parade, when a young woman tells us she’s ridden the scooters often in Auckland, but she can’t imagine them getting the same use in Napier.

I tried again a few metres down the road, but the numbered meter on my phone kept ticking over.

I finally spotted a parked purple thing outside the i-Site, decided it was my scooter’s friend and parked alongside. But still the meter kept ticking over, until we unclipped my safety helmet and plugged that into some hole. It worked.

End result: $27.65 for 40 minutes and six seconds, as shown on the… er, app.

If I’d got a taxi home it would have been cheaper, and saved me some of the embarrassment.

I didn’t feel so bad an hour or so later when I saw four young men trying to get separate scooters going, also in Tennyson St. Their collective confusion was uplifting to watch, but they finally got moving, and were spotted 40 minutes later in Kennedy Rd, near the Maddi Rd crossing.

They abandoned the mission soon afterwards, and carried on - walking.