The lighter side: Have I got a bargain for you

Last week I found myself driving around Petone, clutching a 4 cents-per-litre petrol voucher in my hand and gently nursing the accelerator as the petrol gauge nudged "seriously low". Naturally, I was looking for a service station of the brand that accepted my voucher.

After driving around for enough kilometres to burn up the fuel equivalent of my potential voucher savings, I pulled into a rival brand petrol station and filled up. It was either a case of abandoning the savings or running out of petrol, something I don't think I have ever done.

When I paid, the attendant asked if I had Fly Buys and I lied. Sometimes I just can't be bothered.

"Yes, you have," he insisted. "I can see the corner of the card sticking out of your wallet."

Snapped. Reluctantly I withdrew the card and let him zap it to add to my growing treasure trove of savings and incentives. "Fly Buys are your friend," he added.

"Hrrumph!" said I.

So often we are duped by the word "savings". I know of people who will travel - at significant cost - to buy something on special and "save". To a discount devotee, it is irrelevant that the cost of travel is more than the saving. You can't quell the urges of a determined bargain hunter.

Consider also those who will queue to be first in to an annual sale to "save" on stuff they would otherwise not have bought. Some will go so far as to sleep out on the pavement overnight! Maybe the best way to save is to stay away from sales.

There is a Japanese proverb which springs to mind: Getting money is like digging with a needle; spending it is like water soaking into sand.

Benjamin Franklin had a worthwhile comment too: If you know how to spend less than you get, you have the philosopher's stone.

Or you can go all the way back to Cicero, if you like: The world has not yet learned the riches of frugality.

So, how do you deal with this problem? Well, there are all sorts of little things you can do which, together, can add up to some serious savings. In a restaurant, for example, you can make more sensible decisions if you read the menu from right to left.

I have another suggestion which the sales addicts could be interested in as a cheap alternative to their regular fix. It's a real board game called Bargain Hunter and I'm sure you will be able to find it at a discounted rate if you spend enough on travel.

The game challenges you to furnish an apartment (pets included) in the most economical fashion. Players start with $1000 each and move their pawn along a path of furniture stores, department stores and a pet shop, buying items from their shopping list along the way.

But, like Snakes and Ladders, there are "snakes". Along the way, you might incur massive car repair costs, unexpected interest charges or huge restaurant bills. Yes, it's modelled on real life.

Relax. There are also "ladders" - 4 cents-per-litre petrol vouchers, for example. Oops, sorry! I'm getting mixed up already. There are, in fact, lottery prizes and - you guessed it - sales! Each player is also issued with a plastic credit card so you can always call on that when the going gets tough.

Once things are nicely under way, the male ... oops, sorry ... wrong game. I'm getting mixed up again. In fact, I'm not sure of further details but I believe the winner is the first player to become Minister of Finance.

Anyway, let me close by admitting I'm a tad guilty about having puttered through Petone in pursuit of a puny 4 cents. But I'm not one to look a gift horse in the mouth so I still intend to use the voucher. I have it beside me as I type. I'm looking at it right now.

Oops! It expired yesterday.

*Wyn Drabble is a teacher of English, a writer, public speaker and musician.