The Hits: Time for a bit of boob chat

The Hits DJ Megan Banks.

OPINION

May is Pink Ribbon Breakfast month, where we are all urged to take in a pink ribbon breakfast and raise vital funds for breast cancer education, research and patient support.

So pull up a chair ladies, it’s time for a bit of boob chat.

I’ve got four brand-new bras at home that don’t fit. Now it’s unusual for me to even have new bras, so I really thought I was nailing life for 2023 when I made some purchases.

The first two I bought at Christmas time. I went into the store, grabbed my size, got them home, tried them on and they didn’t fit. They were too small. I’m not quite sure how that happened.

I’ve always been the same size, so obviously manufacturers have changed their sizes. It’s got absolutely nothing to do with a few extra kilos I seem to be carrying.

In true Megan Banks fashion, instead of taking them back and getting the next size up, I told myself I would easily lose a couple of kilos and then the problem would be fixed.

Well, as you can guess, that didn’t happen. So at Easter I went back to the store where there was another sale and I bought two more bras! This time again I didn’t try them on in the store, and again I got them home, you guessed it, they were still too small!!!!

Now this was a very depressing development indeed. And when I say too small, it was just one cup that was too small.

I consider myself to be in the very fortunate position of being full of mystery and intrigue by having a lopsided chest!

So I took my unbalanced self back to the store and got the next size up, and again they didn’t fit and by this point, I was too embarrassed to take them back for a third time. I am a very slow learner.

So now I have four brand-new bras at home doing nothing apart from taunting me.

I want some kind of boob scanning machine at department stores that scans your boobs (does a mammogram at the same time) and magically spits out bras that fit correctly with different cup sizes if needed.

Oh, that’s right, we do have that, they are called bra fitting specialists! Next time I promise I will leave it to the experts and their cold tape measures.