The Hits: Natural locks shining through

The Hits DJs Megan Banks and Adam Green. Photo / File

It's times like this when I really wish Beauty and the Beast was still on our TV screens.

Selwyn Toogood knew a thing or two about hair, he didn't have much, but it was lush and silver, and I now find myself in a similar position.

I can just see them reading out the letter now. "Dear panel, it has been 12 weeks since I have been able to see my regular hairdresser and my once dyed blonde locks have now turned a brassy yellow. To add insult to injury my grey strands that usually are hidden under an expensive cover of peroxide have broken free during lockdown turning me into a 40 something Helen Mirren. How would you recommend I fix this catastrophe, or should I finally succumb to Mother Nature and let my inner silver vixen out. Yours sincerely, Peppery Princess of Greenmeadows."

"Dear Peppery Princess," Selwyn would say with his perfectly clipped vowels. "I've studied long and hard the virtues of being the nation's Silver Fox, and I can wholeheartedly recommend it. Whilst you might not think it's becoming of a woman to show the ageing process, just embrace it with confidence and so will everyone else. I'm actually only 48 yet everyone thinks I'm 72 so there is an upside and you'll soon start getting senior citizen discounts so think of the savings."

Thanks Selwyn. Maybe Shona McFarlane would offer more as she magically transports herself to the year 2020. "Well Peppery Princess of Hawke's Bay, my only advice is you do you boo."

The trouble is panel, I haven't been doing me for around 20 years.

Various hairdressers have been doing me, and doing me so well even I forgot I was a natural brunette.

But on the upside, if there's one thing being in lockdown has done for my relationship, is that it's made Ben realise he doesn't know me as well as he thought he did.

I like to think I've added an air of mystery, a new dimension. I'm not naturally blonde, I'm naturally grey. So it's actually like he's with a new woman. That's how I'm selling it to him anyway.

Right, I better go, I have more letters to write. Firstly to the Prime Minister who seems to have not sprouted a grey hair in weeks despite the stress …. how are you doing it Cindy?

And another letter off to Tammy the Briscoes lady. Can I please borrow your wig? – Megan Peppery Princess Banks.

Don't miss Adam Green and Megan Banks on The Hits Hawke's Bay from 6am to 9am, Monday to Friday