The Hits: 'Kidphony' not my idea of holiday fun

The Hits DJs, Adam Green and Megan Banks. Photo / File

COMMENT
Back to work bliss. That's what I now call the return to the office after some time off.

Oh sure, three weeks of holiday sounds like a good idea to start with, but it's only when you're at day 15 of every waking moment with the family in tow that you realise, sometimes you need that cup of instant in the breakroom more than you know.

I love my family. I really do, but when you preface your morning coffee with "There are 3000 different things in this house you could be playing with but right now you're telling me you ALL want to play with THAT exact shell?" the bitter tang of your caffeinated beverage takes on just a hint of unpleasantness.

Oh sure, it's a beautiful moment to walk through the house early morning and catch your little cherubs fast asleep and dreaming, but you know, in just a few short minutes there will be a mixture of Coco Pops, Weet-Bix and milk slopping over the side of a bowl and onto the bench to begin the day's clean-up duty.

"I'm booooored" echoes through the halls of the home, "Why are you saying that Dad?" ask the kids. Well, children, know it's usually you that say this phrase, but, believe it or not, when you're not here the television sometimes isn't blaring SpongeBob episodes at full volume while every noisy toy in the house blares into life in a symphony of endless noise. A kidphony, if you will.

Oh what I would do for just 10 minutes in the board room I think to myself. Discussing brainstorms and spreadsheets.

I would spend some of my holiday time on activity research. "Best free outside things" -now forever ingrained in my google search history. Have you tried catching tadpoles? Suggested one website, obviously not aware of my current geographical location. Fireflies? Suggested another. Well, website, if you'd like to shout me and three kids a trip to the bayou, I don't think that's an option.

And food. At work, my frozen loaf of Vogel's and jar of Pic's Peanut Butter is mine and mine alone.

Holiday food disappears faster than a puddle on a Hawke's Bay summer day. Tiny fingers pilfering it from the shelves as fast as I could reload.

So, parents, and parents to be, don't think of it as the holiday finishing, think of it as bliss beginning!

Don't miss Adam Green and Megan Banks on The Hits Hawke's Bay from 6am to 9am, Monday to Friday.