The Hits: Duck antics lead to more talk about the birds and the bees

The Hits DJs, Megan Banks and Adam Green. Photo / File

I've had to have a few interesting conversations of late, particularly with my 7-year- old.

I've tried to explain the birds and the bees as best I could while browning mince, drinking wine and overseeing homework. It went quite well and nothing more has been said of it since.

But the birds and the bees changed to the drake and duck recently while we were enjoying our lovely local Anderson Park.

At one end of the park there are gorgeous little cygnets, all grey and fluffy and adorable, swimming with their parents in the ponds. Note to self, swan parents get a bit angry when you try and get too close for that perfect little baby swan pic for Instagram.

And then at the other end of the park, there are the ducks. My boys love the ducks. I'm not sure how the ducks feel about my boys. Probably the same as myself: particularly fond of them when they're asleep.

Anyway, during one of our usual visits to the ducks, it all took a rather violent turn when we witnessed a bit of their "how's your father" action.

I didn't actually see it, but Mr 7 did and was so horrified that he went on the hunt for a big stick and proceeded to try and break up the coupling.

He thought they were all having a very nasty fight and he wanted to shoo away the ring leader. This led to me having to have a very public conversation about what those four ducks were doing to the poor other duck.

It went along the lines of, well when a Daddy duck loves a Mummy duck he holds her neck down and in violent fashion tries to squash her, she tries to get away, but Daddy duck and his mates give chase and eventually after a while beautiful gorgeous ducklings are born.

Mummy duck then has to look after all of her ducklings, many of which don't come back, quack quack quack, until all five of them come back in their early 20s.

My 7-year-old in his infinite wisdom concluded life was pretty hard for a Mummy Duck and I pondered that thought by reliving my own mother's life in 1986 and poured myself a Fluffy Duck. I have a feeling I'm going to need it before my next difficult chat.
– Megan Banks