There's no handbook for becoming a parent.
Yeah, sure there is a multitude of books on everything from sleep to skateboarding, and bad attitudes to basketball, but as far as I can tell there isn't one to cover the things you learn only once the fruits of your loins are in the world, and costing you money.
We are entering the time of year when some of those unexpected expenses start to emerge. In spring, the money springs right out of your wallet, and in summer it becomes "gimmie summer dat money".
If I were to write such a book, I'd add a chapter on unexpected holiday expenses. As Halloween looms ever closer, no trip to one of the department stores goes unhindered, as you now have to stroll past a veritable graveyard full of spooky accessories.
"Dad," the kids will ask expectantly, "can we get one of these spooky half-spider half-clown animatronic walking light-up lawn ornaments? It's only $79."