COMMENT: A long weekend is here. Queen's Birthday weekend.
Not her real birthday, of course, that's in April. But back in 1748, King George II decided (Because he was royalty and he could. Take that, peasants.) that there would be a double birthday celebration for those who were lucky enough tobe born with a crown upon their head.
And it's a good thing he did, as this is the last long weekend we celebrate before the long wait through winter. That's right, as a show that disappointed millions once said, Winter is coming.
Isn't it about time the politicians of New Zealand looked at the long, public holidayless days of the colder months and said, "Who else can we award a double birthday to, the people of Auckland need another excuse to sit in eight hours of traffic to reach the bach in Coromandel, and the rest of the country requires, no, deserves an extra three-day weekend to pack four years of home maintenance and gardening in to."
And so I propose celebrating some of the unsung heroes of Aotearoa with an extra birthday.
We could start with, "Always blow on the pie policeman's birthday weekend". What night out with a stop at the service station would be complete without someone uttering the immortal words of Sergeant Guy Baldwin? That pie would be thermonuclear otherwise.
"Nek minnit guy long weekend". Had ourselves a winter holiday weekend drought, Nek Minnit. Just make sure you don't leave your scooter outside the dairy.
"Harold The Giraffe Holiday". A tireless campaigner for healthier children in our land of the long white cloud, we could help create the land of the brushed white teeth by celebrating with a day off to say happy birthday Harold, keep up the handy hints, and thanks for helping in the struggle to get my kids to eat a vegetable.
"Bilbo's Birthday". Yeah, I know, he's not strictly a Kiwi character, but if we had a dollar for every overseas visitor who said "I'm here to visit the Shire," we'd probably have a few piggy banks of money to help pay the long weekend surcharge at the local cafe.
And what new long weekend proposal would be complete without a quick mention of that Kiwi royal himself, Richie McCaw. If anyone deserves a double birthday it's ol' mate Rugby Richie. We could watch re-runs of World Cup wins and have a cup of milk.
Oh and Jacinda, if you're listening, I'd happily celebrate a double birthday for you too - now can you please make it happen? - Adam Green
Don't miss Adam Green and Megan Banks on The Hits Hawke's Bay from 6am to 9am Monday to Friday
