"The first part of the programme focuses on play, listening and talking to children, problem-solving, how to be involved with them and to how to give them time."
Bertram said the second stage covers coaching, praise and encouragement and this can help with their schooling. It also focuses on rewarding and celebrating good behaviour.
"By focusing on the positives in these first two parts of the programme parents rarely have to use the final parts which are setting limits and rules and consistently following them through, ignoring, distracting and redirecting and, finally, consequences."
Using feedback from a before and after checklist parents could identify the areas they found the most challenging, Bertram said.
"At the end of the course, most parents found these challenges became easier. They found they were spending less time trying to manage destructive behaviour."
Running the course over the 14 weeks was a big time commitment for parents, but Bertram said in the long run parents found they were less stressed and so was their child.
Those attending last year's course became very supportive of each other and shared many successes each week, Tararua REAP general manager Claire Chapman said.
There were several parents who had made significant shifts in their attitudes toward their children.
"One spoke candidly on how attending the course had completely changed her perspective on parenting. She spoke of the profound effect it has had on her family. She said it was about halfway through the course that she realised it was her that needed to change and not her children.
"Although this was extremely confronting for her and she thought about leaving, she continued and was pleased she did.
"She reported that her family life is so much calmer and that everyone had stopped yelling.
"She also talked about how she has stopped leaning on alcohol to get through the evenings with her family."
Chapman said one of the significant things that happened during the group process was the realisation that they were parenting in the same way they were parented.
"For most this meant they were not giving their children very much positive attention and were not acknowledging their emotions. There was very much an authoritarian style of discipline happening.
"Several parents talked about how confronting this was because they were not being supported by their own parents and they were having to justify their parenting to the children's grandparents.
"This often caused clashes between the generations but by attending this course these parents felt empowered to parent positively."
Tararua REAP is also running a second programme called Triple Positive Parenting. This is a weekly discussion group that focuses on issues such as dealing with disobedience, developing good bedtime routines, managing aggression and hassle-free shopping with children.
Parents are also able to work one-on-one with a Triple P coach to create a parenting plan specific to a concern.
The Incredible Years programme starts on March10 and runs from 9.30am to 12.30pm in Dannevirke. It's for parents with children aged 3 to 7.
To register for the programmes contact Tararua REAP or The Trust Tararua.
