However, the New Zealand judicial system treats her and her family as just a number and Pam is dehumanised.
The outdated and obsolete adversarial criminal justice system, where the lawyers take centre stage, kicks in.
They elevate the perpetrator and the victim is no longer paramount. The prosecutor has a very limited narrow role as defined by the New Zealand judicial system and there is no role for victims and their families.
The victim is dead, so cannot talk, and no one is allowed to speak on their behalf. The living perpetrator becomes "king" and lawyers bring out a whole lot of points which are meant to somehow justify the killing of Pam.
The judicial system needs to be changed so perpetrators understand there is a consequence for them.
"Sorry, I did not mean to," is not enough. There are consequences for perpetrators but killing them is not one I favour. However, equally, I do not favour letting them getting away with it. The consequences involve loss of freedom to do what they want and giving them an opportunity to help in the community to make life better for others.
I have been lobbying in the New Zealand judicial system for years because of my son's death. Lawyers tell you the system is not perfect and go on to simply milk the system.
No political party cares enough to make meaningful reforms. The best you get is sympathy but, as soon as you talk reform, bureaucracy kicks in.
Yes, Minister was such an accurate TV programme on how Government and bureaucrats work.
Reforms need to include:
1. More evidence (and very little being withheld) being available to the court. This includes circumstantial evidence and any prior convictions.
2. Right to silence abolished.
3. The opportunity for at least victims' families to address the court.
4. Changing the level of proof to the truth which is based on the balance of probabilities (not an undefined term such as reasonable doubt).
How many more people have to die before politicians facilitate changes that focus on prevention?
Simon Cowan is the founder of the White Heart Victims Remembrance Trust.