Sarah van der Kley: Flat-pack furniture? We must have had screw loose

Sarah van der Kley

There are many challenges a couple will face as they make their way through married life.

At the beginning they will meet each other's family and friends.

They will discover the other person's annoying habits and have to find a way to live with them.

Kids will possibly come along at some point and bring with them a whole new dynamic to deal with.

But if there is one thing that is guaranteed to put the ultimate strain on even the strongest relationships, it's flat-pack furniture.

We recently decided the time had come to deck out our expected baby's nursery.

We had a limited budget so opted to buy furniture we could put together ourselves thinking "how hard could it be?"

Quite hard, apparently.

Our first error was deciding to put it together in the nursery (a rather small room) on one of the hottest days of the year instead of the lounge where there's heaps more space and the luxury of air conditioning.

Once we took all the parts for the drawers out of the box we realised just how big a mistake this was.

The parts took up every inch of space, where were we going to actually assemble this thing?

On opening the instructions, I was convinced they'd given us the wrong set and we in fact had the manual for building a space rocket.

How can one set of drawers possibly require so many detailed instructions and nonsensical pictures?

The problem with instructions is you have to actually read them properly.

Trying to make sense of something written in proper English with sweat dripping down your face while facing potential heat stroke isn't easy.

Add to that someone yelling at you to hurry up because they're about to die (slightly dramatic) and you're likely to confuse a step or two.

Which is why we had to undo our hard work several times when we realised the back was on the front and the drawers were upside down.

Eventually, desperately trying to remember that we did in fact love each other (and trying to forget some of the more hurtful things said in the literal heat of the assembling moments), we collapsed in a sweaty heap on the floor and admired our fine work.

Then we looked at the rest of the boxes waiting with more impossible-to-put-together treasures inside and swore that next time, for the sake of our sanity, health and marriage, we'd buy furniture already put together.

• Don't miss Adam Green and Sarah van der Kley on The Hits Hawke's Bay from 6am to 9am, Monday to Friday.