Roger Moroney: When Julio gave us the blues

You know a concert is going badly when someone loudly asks "I wonder who they'll get next year?"
I have heard this only twice while attending the now iconic Mission Concerts in the lee of the Taradale hills.
And I have been to about 14 of the things.
One was the slightly unfortunate soiree with the diminutive and crooning Julio Iglesias - a fine Spanish chap who possesses a very able voice.
Looked sharp and sounded just fine ... but crooning and romantic balladeering was not one of the ingredients the wine and lager-packing battalions wanted in their all-day mix back then in the slightly loose Mission years of the mid to late '90s.
I felt for the guy, as he did not suit the bill - but he had stoically stepped in at the final hour and agreed to perform after the concert organisers were stunned at the news that the artist they had signed to tread the boards that year had been killed.
It was to have been John Denver, but his life ended when his light aircraft, which he was piloting, crashed into the sea off California.
So Julio was quickly signed up.
No one in the crowd appeared to recognise a thing he sang, and apart from the bloke who wondered who they might get next year, the most telling comment came from some bewildered geezer behind us.
Clearly aware this Spanish smoothie wasn't an Aussie or a Pom, he was clearly also aware he didn't really know where he had arrived from.
For at a quiet moment he howled "go back to France!"
It was the best laugh of the night ... and a little later Julio was overheard to angrily declare "this crowd is boring".
Which I suppose was right ... given that boredom generally emerges when people have nothing to do.
Unlike at the Beach Boys concert, where like many I jived and danced (badly) as they ran through songs we knew so well we actually helped out on the choruses.
At one stage I was taken back to my spot by a nice policeman after sort of crashing the constabulary's catering arrangements. Well, they had good tucker up there and it didn't cost anything.
I put it down to the intoxication of the Beach Boys and all the great Hawaiian shirts everywhere and the hot weather.
So anyway, the Julio gig was a misfire, and some would say the same of the concert staged by the Hollies (or the Holly as it turned out, given only Tony Hicks remained from the '60s outfit). And Chris de Burgh, who despite being a seriously able musician did not have the "I know this one!" factor about his back catalogue of songs.
Just didn't fire. Nor did Cliff Richard, who forgot that about 98 per cent of those who bought tickets to see him would have liked to hear some of his hits ... not those of other people.
Getting the "right" artist to take the Mission stage has to be the music business' version of Mission Impossible.
It's the old saying, of course ... you can't please everyone.
It's a tricky mix, and as the years slip by I think it just gets trickier for the fine crew who stage the event. Because you need that unique ingredient that makes it a "concert" rather than just a "fire up the amps and go for it" occasion.
Like the Doobie Brothers concert, which while an excellent evening for some of us who hurled ourselves across dance floors to the tune of China Grove many (many) years earlier, it sort of pulled in a hard edge which didn't sit all that well with those in the crowd who had previously warmed a little easier to Kenny Rogers or Shirley Bassey.
They got it spot on with Rod Stewart and also hit the spot with Tom Jones and Sting.
Some hits, some slow stuff, some excellent interaction with the crowd, some laughs and superb musicianship.
But artists like that aren't exactly thick on the ground.
Because as the concerts, and years, go by, the most suitable "suspects" tends to age a little further.
So here we are again ... at that intriguing time of the year when the announcement of the next Mission artists is just over the horizon.
It's a special year next year for it will be the 20th anniversary show ... and word from within the industry is that the star will accordingly be someone "special".
We know the day it's going to happen and soon we'll know who it'll be.
Given the quality of the acts we will have been blessed with in the lead-up to Mission 2012 (Crowded House, Lionel Ritchie, Steve Winwood, Steely Dan), it'll have to be good.
So ... how about Paul McCartney?
The biggest guessing game in town is under way again.
Roger Moroney is an award-winning journalist for Hawke's Bay Today and observer of the slightly off-centre.