Roger Moroney, Hawke's Bay Today columnist.
I saw a shooting star the other night and it inspired me to become an astrologer...just for a day.
So here you are people, here's the star-driven oil on what will shroud your thoughts and movements today as I don my horoscopey hat.
ARIES: Nature is a strange and wonderful thing and you need to embrace it today.
Commerce and industry is also a strange and wonderful thing and you need to embrace it today.
If it's raining buy an umbrella and if it's sunny buy a hat.
Your coins will pay the wages of those who made them...although it's highly likely they live a long way from here.
TAURUS: Life is like sport, except you don't know how long each half is going to be.
But today is not the time to treat it as a game or a contest, so if you are called aside by the referee just take it on the chin - accept that your head took charge without your permission and just pay the speeding fine without argument.
The referee in blue will be a Taurean...he or she will not take any bull.
GEMINI: There is doubt in your mind, which is a good thing.
For today the stars have you lined up to do something which you would not normally do, which is not such a bad thing because variety is the spice of life.
When you do this slightly inexplicable thing you are likely to be confronted by others but you need not be affronted by their accusations that you are empty headed.
Tell them there is actually doubt in your mind so they are wrong.
CANCER: One can always dream and at this time you are rather inclined to steer down this often colourful path of unconsciousness in the belief that dreams come true.
And that equally colourful path, of optimism, is not such a bad thing for it will propel you through some potentially unsettling moments at this time.
But dreaming that the Dalai Lama and Prince Charles are going to stop by to take you fishing is just plain silly. Wake up.
LEO: The lion huh? You are unique in that there is every chance you may find yourself in Spain working for the zoo there and you have to care for an ageing lion called Leo.
And if old Leo does something really grand you can use the three letters of your sign to describe it to visitors. "Ol'e 'ole Leo."
VIRGO: Your star sign has confused you for it shows a young lady wearing a flower in her hair, and lipstick.
Well being a Virgo it sure confused me when I was hanging out with some gritty biker boys back in the early '80s.
But feel free to put a flower in your hair at this time for the stars obviously say that's just fine and dandy. Just not a plastic one.
LIBRA: It is time for a change and this is the time when many ideas about what that change could, or should, be, come into your head.
Many will involve the spending of money, which you are averse to doing, but this is something you must indeed change.
For the spending of money will result in you taking possession of some...loose change.
SCORPIO: Given the standard of that previous star sign advice you'd be better off just turning the page.
SAGITTARIUS: Some people will find your attitude today slightly bewildering.
For this is a time of uncertainty and forgetfulness as life saturates you with its more troublesome aspects.
So be cautious in your approach to things and mindful that your verbal, physical and mental preparations for the day ahead are all taken care of, and understand the anxiety of the staff at the supermarket for you should have put your trousers on.
CAPRICORN: This is not a time to take "no" for an answer, nor is it as time to say "yes" when you actually mean "no".
Or "probably" when you should have said "certainly" but really meant to say "possibly".
Oh yes, this is a time for you to pursue the verbal escapes of "yeah na" and "oh absolutely almost certainly".
AQUARIUS: Today you will meet someone and you will either know them or you won't.
If you don't know them then just say you have no inclination to carry out a survey because you have to go and see someone you know.
And when you meet that someone you know just pay them the 10 bucks you owe them. You may also see a seagull...but exactly what that means is anyone's guess.
PISCES: The sign of the fish. Today is a time for refreshment of the system. So wander out and make it two crumbed and a scoop of chips thanks.
The House was suspended briefly after the haka disrupted voting.