Roger Moroney.
Is a sound a noise?
Well yes, it is ... but then it isn't.
During my school daze I often heard it said that we were to sit quietly through the film about the Canadian forestry industry or the life cycle of the sea turtle. "I don't want to hear a sound," the teacher would say.
"No noise thank you." So I daresay in that context sound is noise.
But for the past 16 years I have regarded the words sound and noise in the same way I regard the words smell and aroma.
They possess a point of difference, and the ancient creators of language would be in agreement as why would they devise two words to mean the same thing?
Yes, I learned this lesson back in 2000 whilst at a race track up Pukekohe way.
The two-wheeled objects of my desire were doing track time as part of an historic/classic motorcycling event.
They were Italian machines called MV Agustas, and the only time I had seen them race in real anger, before they were parked up as the two-stroke machines broke their competitive hearts, was in 1974 in England at a post-TT event at a place called Mallory Park.
To hear them being stretched to the limit and then being down-shifted rapidly for the challenging right-hander left me in a state of near emotional collapse - from sheer joy.
So, all those years later I had to go and see them again, albeit in a more display series of laps rather than pushing limits. And I was able to catch up and have a quick chat with one of their legendary pilots, Giacomo Agostini.
It was while chatting that I made casual mention of that "beautiful noise" of the great MV Agustas and he shook his head and waved his forefinger toward me in a sort of slight telling-off motion.
"Is not noise ... is sound," he said, almost whispering the word "sound".
He was right. Noise is abrasive. Sound is more evocative, more appealing. It's like someone telling their cooking teacher that the dish their mentor prepared had a good smell.
"Is not a smell ... is aroma," the teacher would surely reply.
There is a point of difference.
So then, what is the result of clapping one's hands together?
Is it a sound or a noise? Or it it applause? Depends how enthusiastic the clappers are I suppose.
At any North Korean political event the hand-clapping is more a constant, but subdued and respectful, sound.
Yet when the All Blacks blast through for another try against Aussie the ferocious slamming of palms together is a genuine noise. And in that situation a most encouraging and heartwarming noise, especially if it's Dane Coles who crosses the line because he don't take no blarney that boy.
So it must be asked, how many more sentences am I going to start with the word "so"?
But I digress, for I am ever-so-slightly intrigued by a recent change to the schooling rules at a place of learning in Sydney by the name of Elanora Heights Public School.
The school hierarchy has banned clapping at assemblies in what is said to be a way of ensuring that any students with "noise anxieties" are not unduly upset. Okey dokey.
Instead, the students are encouraged to punch the air or wriggle about.
In the school's recent newsletter it states "instead of clapping, the students are free to punch the air, pull excited faces and wriggle about on the spot.
The practice has been adopted to respect members of our school community who are sensitive to noise.
When you attend an assembly, teachers will prompt the audience to conduct a silent cheer if it is needed.
Teachers have also found the silent cheers to be a great way to expend children's energy and reduce fidgeting."
Well tie me kangaroo down, sport. What happens when it's time to sound the school bell or there is thunder overhead?
We had a music teacher at primary school who taught us the words (and motions) of a song called If You're Happy and You Know it Clap your Hands which we all did enthusiastically and while grinning through the joy of being able to make ... sound.
Kids and noise (and sounds) sort of go together, and to my way of thinking if there is a rare occasion where a youngster has a genuine fear of sound issue then let them sit assembly out.
What next, the banning of tree climbing? Oh, wait a minute ...
- Roger Moroney is an award-winning journalist for Hawke's Bay Today and observer of the slightly off-centre.
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