Roger Moroney: Election battle could do with a comic touch

The mirthful minds of Paul Ego, Jeremy Corbett and Dai Henwood could make the political arena more interesting. Photo / Doug Sherring

Politics.

Like pollen, there's a lot of it about.

But like pollen, in a few more weeks it will have dissipated considerably.

It will still be about of course, because like dealing with the heaviest stages of pollen there is always quite a clean-up involved afterwards.

Not quite to the point of having to hose things down but I daresay there will be some pollens, I mean politicians, who will be hosed off.

For just like pollen they wanted to get into the house.

We have watched in wonderment and occasional merriment at a couple of televised "leaders debates" with the Patrick Gower-driven job on TV3 last week requiring a lowering of the volume levels as both leaders started getting a tad serious.

They looked slightly rattled ... slightly spooked, but given they were being confronted by Paddy I wasn't surprised.

He was booked in as the "moderator" but I reckon he was more like a variety show's Mr Interlocutor who'd taken aboard half a bottle of brandy.

At times I was transported back to the fine world of variety shows, but shows with a darker touch.

For there was drama and there was occasional comedy.

And Bill and Jacinda reminded me at times of Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers.

Although for Fred and Ginger it was a case of one saying "tomato" and the other saying "tomayto" as that was how George and Ira Gershwin wrote the song 80 years ago.

I sat waiting for Bill and Jacinda to serenade me with "you say one thing and I say another ... ah let's call the whole thing off."

But naah, too late to call the whole thing off now.

There are still polls to produce and opinions to seek and the secret elixir to feed people between 18 and 24 to make them vote still has to be concocted.

I did a poll the other day ... asked a young bloke I know if he was intending to vote.

"Dunno yet," he replied.

So if he were to put a cross in a box who'd he vote for?

"Oh ... Peter Winston ... is it?"

Winston Peters?

"Naa naa ... I don't go with the Greens."

Yep, elixir required.

What I reckon the world of debating needs is a comic approach.

Not a sarcastic or cynical approach - a genuinely comic approach, because I may be old fashioned and possibly affected slightly from a few head blows while teaching my motorcycle to somersault properly at high speed, but I reckon one of the most crucial attributes a politician should possess is a sense of humour.

The ability to take a joke as easily as they can deliver one.

And when they do deliver one be able to do it with panache and not outright venom.

I recall seeing an old clip from a political debate in the British parliamentary chamber and it had become heated, which led one grand old chap to stand and loudly exclaim "my father once told me a very, very important thing when I was but a lad."

There was a hush, as parental advice was a very honoured and respectful thing.

He looked around at the expectant faces and simply said "but I'm damned if I can remember what it was".

It brought the house down and I daresay lightened many moods.

So, let's gather up Bill, Jacinda, Winston, the cat-man bloke and whoever's running to save the whales, and get Jeremy Corbett, Dai Henwood and Paul Ego to throw some really dopey questions at them.

"Okay Bill ... you're in an airport dunny and you're sitting there and you've realised there's no paper left ... whaddya do mate?"

"Okay Jacinda ... you're standing outside an airport dunny and you hear some bloke yelling for help and you realise it's Bill ... whaddya do m'girl?"

Then hand them all a blank piece of paper and a felt pen and tell them they've got 10 seconds to draw a picture of Mike Hosking.

And get the audience to judge the results.

I firmly believe that anyone who enters the arena of politics should possess a sense of humour ... because when it comes to seeing and hearing the antics within the house we on the outside certainly have to.

● Politics ... as the countdown begins it's all over the place really.

ON THE BOX

● The Day After Tomorrow, TV3 at 8.30pm Thursday: What an interesting piece of scheduling, given the terrible events which unfolded across Texas and Louisiana during Cyclone Harvey.

Then the mayhem and menace of Cyclone Irma across Florida.

The climate and met' boffins described the massive storms of rain and wind as a potential sign of things to come, as warming seas apparently create an increasingly strong recipe for major storms to evolve.

This movie (out of the US of course) is about how the sea temperatures rapidly started to rise and great storms began battering the earth, meaning a climatologist has to make a dangerous dash across the country to rescue his son.

It was made in 2003 and we likely thought "oh yeah" when it came out. But 14 years later?

Mmmm.

● Dumped: Revenge Extremes, Prime at 9.30pm Thursday: Aha, the bottom of the barrel called "reality TV" has finally been located and scraped.

This is, if anyone actually gives a toss, about the extremes jilted lovers will go to to inflict revenge on their former partners.

What really unsettles me though is that there are people out there who fall into these personal situations and who cheerfully agree to reveal every snarly and snorty detail to an audience of strangers.

Sad.

I'll be listening to the radio at this juncture.

● Rugby, Hawke's Bay vs Counties Manukau, Sky Sport 1 at 2.35pm Sunday: Okay my little magpie pupils it's reading time, so turn to page 1568 in the Oxford Dictionary.

There, at the foot of the page in the second column, is the word 'tackle". Well worth a look.

And on the following page there is a definition for "tactical plan". It's quite a good read.