We had a whippet once before, several years ago. His name was Flynn and he was 6 years old when we got him. He was quiet, obedient, loved a good run but also loved a good long sleep on the furniture between runs.
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Flynn lived to a ripe old age and he was such a lovely, quiet, respectful sort of dog we decided we would like another whippet. A puppy this time.
The puppy - Doug - was very small when we went to collect him, barely 3kg in weight. Driving home, I was astonished so much sick could come out of such a small dog. Doug was carsick all the way home. It was a 3 hour journey.
We stopped in Taupo to consult a vet but there's not much you can do, the vet said. "He'll grow out of it," the vet added.
We gave Doug a couple of months to grow out of it, then took him camping at Christmas. It was only a 40 minute car journey so I thought he'd cope.
Just in case, I had him swathed in towels on my lap.
The first Doug-full of vomit missed all the towels and went down my back.
I tried to feel sorry for Doug, but succeeded only in feeling sorry for my sicked-on self. I rearranged the towels and we kept going.
I managed to catch the second load of spew in one of the towels, which I took as a win.
Doug was a little subdued for about three minutes after we arrived, but he soon recovered. I, on the other hand, had to change my clothes and wash myself and the towels.
The trip home two days later was only a one-spew journey and I managed to dodge the lot. A great improvement, I thought.
With that in mind I thought it would be safe to take him for a three-minute drive to the vet to be weighed last week.
Which leads to the question....what's the best way get dog chunder out of my car upholstery?
What a delicate constitution poor Doug has, and he's fussy about his food as well. He insists on specific brands of dog food and biscuits.
When it comes to things he shouldn't eat, however, he shows no such restraint.
When he's not busy crop-circling, he's into stealing stuff and classifying it as edible, partly edible, or inedible.
Edible stuff includes anything he can swipe off the chooks, or out of the compost or rubbish. It also, as he's got taller, includes anything that can be edged from the kitchen bench and run away with.
Whippets are one of the fastest dog breeds. Mostly when they are in possession of stolen goods and are being chased.
They dodge well too.
A whippet carrying a forbidden chicken bone he's liberated from the kitchen bin can accelerate from walk to warp speed in 0.01 of a second and can turn on a pinhead.
Partially edible stuff has included sticks, toilet rolls, cardboard boxes, Christmas decorations and soft toys. Due to a rigorous testing process the inedible parts of these end up shredded and spread all over the back lawn. The innards of one soft toy can cover about 5sq m. Sadly the testing process is unsurvivable.
Because of a flurry of home decorating lately, Doug has been able to expand his thieving and testing to cover sandpaper, paintbrushes and steel wool.
The sanding blocks were deemed partially edible, the paintbrushes inedible and the steel wool ended up well chewed and hidden in my bed. That was an interesting experience.
Anything Doug decides is not edible and therefore of little interest gets dropped on the front lawn.
Hence conversations like: "Have you seen the hearth brush?" "Yes it's on the front lawn."
Along the way Doug has amassed extra names. "Bloody Doug" is popular, as is "Doug-No!" and "Dammit Doug".
He doesn't answer to any of them. Nor does he answer to "here Doug" unless it's accompanied by a piece of cheese.
We're going through quite a bit of cheese.
I'm actually not sure this whippet is the same sort as our old, respectable, obedient whippet. Maybe I should get him tested? I'd have to catch him first. Pass me the cheese.
