Rachel Wise: Babies these days are complex

Disposable nappies pose their own challenges.

Apparently it takes a village to raise a child.

That being the case - does anyone have a village they can lend me for a bit? I am into my fourth week of my second grandchild. Being a hands-on grandmamma, I am doing my best to do my bit, but babies these days are a complex issue. Take carseats for instance - it took me longer to install the baby-capsule in my car than it took my daughter to give birth to the child. No, really, she was in labour for one hour and four minutes.

Disposable nappies pose their own challenge - they curl up before I can get the baby into them and I'm all thumbs with the tabs ... especially if I don't have my reading glasses on. My daughter is forever taking over, with a roll of her eyes and a sigh, and re-nappying the child. It becomes even more challenging once the first, now two-year-old grandchild is added.

"I'm jumping" he'll yell at me from the arm of the couch, just as I'm trying to tie tiny bows on tiny bootees half a room away. I'm expected to catch him and I haven't missed yet, but there have been some close calls and I think I need to get my blood pressure meds increased.

Nearly three years ago when my daughter told me she was pregnant with my first grandson, I was horrified. "I'm too young to be a grandmother," I wailed. Now, as I unpack the dishwasher, doing grandmamma duty with a puking baby draped over one arm and a toddler clinging to my leg, I have changed my tune.

"I'm too old for this" I'm muttering.

Has anyone older than 40 tried to fold or unfold a child's push-chair lately? Or figure out how to turn off a baby-rocker that has lights, music and rocks all by itself? There's also something called a play-gym on my lounge floor, which plays a tune every time I trip over it. Sometimes it plays a tune when I just walk past. It scares me a little but the baby seems to like it. There's a whole terminology I could do with a hand with as well. What's an exersaucer?

I'm sure babies used to be simpler. They had nappies pinned on, slept in a bassinette and if they needed rocking you put them in their pram and jiggled. Prams came apart into two pieces. They did not fold into umbrella-shapes that refuse to unfold unless you know a secret combination. The only thing that had buttons was a matinee jacket and when you pressed them they neither lit up nor played music.

And - horrifying though it may sound - there were no carseats. Nope. My mum used to fit us four and the neighbour and her four into an Austin 1100 for a trip to the beach. One of the neighbour kids fell out of the car once, but we were only going slowly and she was fine.

Back then, each neighbourhood was a village, of sorts. Mums and grandparents were home during the day, there was always a cup of tea brewing somewhere and if Mrs H was out, Mrs B knew where, and when she'd be home, and would bring in her washing if it rained. Kids ran in and out of each others' homes and if a mum wanted her brood home for any reason she'd stand on the back porch and call.

Hand-me-downs went from household to household, so did surplus veges from the garden and the odd casserole in a crisis.

My daughter assures me a lot of this still goes on ... it's just shifted a little sideways, on to the internet.

She and her friends swap recipes, hand-me-downs and advice, plan outings and make coffee-dates over Facebook instead of over the fence.

I'm not entirely convinced it's as good. I have yet to see my Facebook page bring in my washing.

But I'll give it a go - If Facebook can tell me what a exersaucer is I'll let you know.

Rachel Wise is editor of Hawke's Bay Community Newspapers.