A stay-at-home dad to five children under 4 - 3-and-a-half-year-old Peter and 1-year-old quadruplets Jonathan, Oliver, Lucy and Esther - Brett Wills was a tireless parent despite living with a non-genetic congenital heart defect.
Brett was just 42 when he was hospitalised by an infection in June and was unable to recover.
“The big thing with Brett is I don’t have any regrets about ‘oh I wish we’d done this or I wish we’d done that’ because instead of wishing we had done things we planned,” Joanne said.
“That is one of the important things in life, don’t keep putting everything off for ‘one day’. Yes, you plan for the future and there are some things you can’t afford to do at the time, but there are plenty of things you can do for free to make those memories.”
Despite the work involved, they valued experiences over things and didn’t let five little ones stop them from taking trips and visiting family.
“Some people can get upset with this sort of thing, like asking why did he go so soon. But for us, instead of looking at the whys, we are looking at everything we had with him.”
Napier mum Joanne Wills with Oliver (left), Peter, Lucy, Jonathan and Esther. Photo / Paul Taylor
Joanne said Brett, whom she began dating in 2014 and married in 2016, was a humble, hands-on parent who loved spending time with his kids and was a godly man.
“Brett was a very kind, very generous, very godly man, he kept God as the focus of his life.
“He was very practical, so he loved being out in the garden, he loved driving machinery. He drove tractors, forklifts and many things for many years.”
She said her most precious memories of Brett were of their time together as a family with their children.
“I just think of the little things like him playing with them on the floor, going out somewhere with them, just us being a family together.”
She also treasured the time they spent together as a couple in May when they stayed in Gisborne for a couple of nights for Brett’s birthday, despite the rainy weather.
The Wills family are closely involved with community groups like their church, Bay Baptist Church in Napier, Brett’s father’s workplace Farmlands, Hawke’s Bay Coastguard, the Hawke’s Bay Multiple Birth Club and local playgroups.
Joanne said all those groups, plus her employer, TechnologyOne, had stepped up with some “amazing” support in the past month.
“They have been helping to provide meals and coming around to help with the kids, things like that.”
A Givealittle page opened to support the Wills family has raised more than $50,000, with the money going towards a full-time nanny to support Joanne with her five children.
Joanne Wills says the community support has been strong since her husband Brett died of an infection in June. Photo / Paul Taylor
It was hard for Joanne to explain to her young children that their dad has gone but the oldest, Peter, who inherited from his father a love of diggers, tractors and anything to do with dirt, was able to create a special memory by helping bury Brett.
“The others, we will go around and look at the photos and they will point out ‘Daddy, Daddy’ and pull out his shoes or hat but it is very hard for them to understand,” Joanne said.
“One thing we say with Peter that really helps him is he knows Daddy went into the ground, but he is also in Heaven with Jesus now. That really helps the kids get through that.”
James Pocock joined Hawke’s Bay Today in 2021 and writes breaking news and features, with a focus on the environment, local government and post-cyclone issues in the region. He has a keen interest in finding the bigger picture in research and making it more accessible to audiences. He lives in Napier. james.pocock@nzme.co.nz
