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Home / Hawkes Bay Today

Middle NZ: Mum walks in - things turn pear-shaped

By Linda Hall
Hawkes Bay Today·
1 Jun, 2021 06:00 PM3 mins to read

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A child having a tantrum in the supermarket could well be the least of some parents' worries. They are more concerned about having enough money to pay for their groceries . Photo / NZME

A child having a tantrum in the supermarket could well be the least of some parents' worries. They are more concerned about having enough money to pay for their groceries . Photo / NZME

OPINION:
I heard late last week that new research suggests children's good behaviour goes out the door when mum is in the room.

I tried to find the new research but after searching the internet the only one I could find was done in 2018 that said children's behaviour was 800 per cent worse when their mother was in the room.

So not only has this research been done before at a cost of — goodness knows, like most research it wouldn't have come cheap, — but the most annoying thing is I could have told them for free.

In fact any mum, dad or carer could have told the researchers the same thing for free.

I'm not going to name names here — suffice to say I have four children, three girls and a boy. One of the girls was an expert at being a little angel when I wasn't around, however, the moment she saw me she changed before my very eyes.

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Linda Hall is  assistant editor, at Hawke's Bay Today.
Linda Hall is assistant editor, at Hawke's Bay Today.

She was such a good little girl at kindy and the teachers would tell me how fantastic she had been. Really? I would say. "Are we talking about the same child?"

The 2018 study indicated "that observing children's behaviour at the entrance of their mothers into the room showed changes for the worse, drastically and rapidly."

I have seen it myself with other people's children. It as if a little light flashes in their brain as soon as they see Mum. "Ah thanks goodness she's back. I'm safe, I don't have to be on high alert, I can relax."

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When you think about it adults do the same thing — well the majority of us anyway.
When we are out in the public or at work we behave nicely. We smile, we are polite, we don't swear — we are on our best behaviour.

However, the minute you find yourself with your family, or close friends you change.
Just like children you relax. You say and do things you would never say in public. You don't have to mind your Ps and Qs, if you want to sing out of tune at the top of your lungs — you can, as long as the neighbours don't mind.

Speaking of neighbours I'm really going to miss ours when we move.

We have been lucky enough to have the very best of neighbours — not only on both sides of us but across the road and behind us.

It's a great place with people who look out for each other. Over the years we have shared vegetables from the garden, chats at the gate, plants and gorgeous roses and flowers, advice and laughter.

I've heard some horror stories over the years about neighbours so I know just how lucky we have been.

I digress — back to the children. In the scheme of things these days a child having a tantrum in the supermarket is the least of their worries.

Many parents and caregivers are more worried about the fact they might not have enough money on them when they get to the checkout, or they can't buy another loaf of bread because the rent has to be paid.

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Tantrums come and go - eventually for good — the bills don't.

Linda Hall is assistant editor at Hawke's Bay Today

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