Often you will hear the comment "they're just kids . . . they just want to have fun". Well of course they do, everyone wants to have fun - but the question is then, what constitutes fun? For kids in sport there's a couple of major things; firstly it's the excitement of competing, and the other thing is self-improvement - getting better at something; passing, hitting, kicking, throwing, whatever it might be.
So just like an elite athlete, kids can learn to focus on other things, aside from the outcome. ''Focus on the process,'' we heard Stephen Kearney say a thousand times after the Warriors' epic capitulation last weekend. Give kids some specific things to improve on, that are achievable, even if they do lose the match - things they can reflect on and get a sense of pride from achieving.
Also, they may not win the game, but can win some battles along the way - again, the pure joy of going hard and competing. Competing feverishly against an older team and losing is more fun for kids than playing a bunch of little tots and winning by 200 points.
Sometimes we grown-ups assume fun for kids is all goofing around, laughing, throwing their hands in the air like they just don't care. But no, quite the opposite, in sport kids love competing - that's the whole point! They also love improving and having fun with their mates.
Sure, winning is the fundamental goal and can be a massive motivator in certain situations - but it's better not to emphasise it as the be all and end all; that will just set the little ones up for failure. Rather, stay focused on the tasks at hand which, if executed well, will help the team win anyway.
Also, sometimes winning the match is simply not even possible but it doesn't mean you call the game off at half-time. Of course not, the kids can ''focus on the process'' and keep battling right to the end.
And that's where team effort can even be a goal, it's a controllable thing - ''Team First'. You don't have much control over how good your opposition is but you can control how good you are.
Ultimately that's what it is about, getting the best out of yourself and your team, and hopefully at the end of the game that will be enough to win - but if not, you've done all you can and had more fun than if you had given up.
It's about how you define winning and losing. There is a big difference between fighting hard for the full duration of the match, playing to your maximum, but ultimately not scoring as many points as your opposition - versus giving up early, spitting and bitching among yourselves, arguing with the ref and sulking to mummy at the end of the game . . . that is a loser.
A winner lifts their teammates, fights to the death, respects the ref and opposition - and will have much more fun doing it.
