Lorena Crombie: Why some men prefer dogs

Sad to say, I never got to the Pahiatua-Makuri Sheepdog Trial, but when word returned of how all four seasons threw themselves about with a vengeance, I didn't mind so much being tucked up at home.

I did, however, miss the entertainment. Dear old Alf Boynton being blown around by the wind into the liberating pen while competing on the Straight Hunt and Simon Beech's triumphant moment, when after winning local prizes for the past few seasons, he finally won his first maiden with his huntaway Cindy.

My spies tell me the sheep performed well despite the weather and the committee were all smiles, working 393 runs in total, up 75 runs on last year.

Well done, everyone.

So, being unable to describe first hand the goings-on of last week's trial, I've decided to share instead a joke the other half has been chuckling over for the past few days. He shouldn't laugh for too long though - I'm the kind of woman to whom, when my feet hit the floor each morning, even the devil says ... "Crap, she's up."

Why some men have dogs, not wives:

The later you are, the more excited your dog is to see you.

Dogs don't mind if you call them by another name.

You never have to wait for a dog, they're ready to go 24/7.

Dogs like to go hunting and fishing.

Dogs like it if you leave things on the floor.

If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away.

A dog will not ask: "If I died would you get another dog?"

If a dog leaves, it won't take half the house with it.

Next trial: March 9-10: Kapiti-West Coast SDTC

Secretary, J Robertson, phone (06) 367 2482.

Both hunts on the same course.

RESULTS

From the Pahiatua-Makuri SDTC

EVENT 1 - LONG HEAD (Judge V Marfell) runs - 82

Open: 1st B Arends & Bud 96.5; 2nd T Hunter & Hawk 95.5; 3rd M Hart & Speed 95.0; 4th G Smith & Ned 94.0; 5th J Wilson & Duffy 93.5.

Intermediate: 1st T Hunter & Hawk 95.5; 2nd M Hart & Speed 95.0; 3rd G Smith & Ned 94.0.

Maiden: 1st G Brown & Fate 89.5; 2nd M Schofield & Tye 88.5; 3rd T Candy & Maz 86.5.

EVENT 2 - SHORT HEAD & YARD (Judge J Barber) runs - 92

Open: 1st J Chaffey & Pat 96.75; 2nd B Scannell & Blue 96.5; 3rd J Linton & Maggie 96.0; 4th G Smith & Ned 96.25; 5th T Hunter & Hawk 95.0.

Intermediate: 1st G Smith & Ned 96.25; 2nd T Hunter & Hawk 95.0; 3rd S Benoit & Tim 94.25.

Maiden: 1st M Schofield & Tye 93.25; 2nd L Patterson & Tarn 89.5; 3rd G Brown & Fate 86.5.

EVENT 3 - ZIG ZAG HUNT (Judge R Searle) runs - 112

Open: 1st R Webb & Gin 98.0; 2nd A Boynton & Pahu 97.75; 3rd D Black & Case 97.5; 4th B Dillon & Lucky 97.3; 5th G Raleigh & Drum 97.2.

Intermediate: 1st R Webb & Gin 98.0; 2nd B Harvey & Puke 97.0; 3rd S Beech & Cindy 96.25.

Maiden: 1st S Beech & Cindy 96.25; 2nd J Wilson & Tui 96.0; 3rd J Murphy & Burt 95.0.

EVENT 4 - STRAIGHT HUNT (Judge M Smith) runs - 107

Open: 1st T Hunter & Angel 97.5; 2nd M Middlemass & Kate 96.0; 3rd D Black & Case 95.5; 4th D Shield & Mace 95.25; 5th S Bradley & Glen 95.1.

Intermediate: 1st A Harrison & Bill 94.5; 2nd R Webb & Gin 94.0; 3rd M Schofield & Hodge 93.5.

Maiden: 1st M Schofield & Hodge 93.5; 2nd J Murphy & Burt 92.0; 3rd S Welch & Herb 91.5.